Saving What's Left
by Liv-x-Case-Benson
Summary: Co-writer: E. Scribbles - As Olivia went to put down her badge in its usual place, she saw a letter. With a frown, she opened it. "Liv. I have no idea how long it will be before you're home, so I'll let you know we left on Tuesday. I've left you. Goodbye. Casey." Rated T-M
1. Breaking Heat, Shattered Soul

Saving What's Left

By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Ch. 1: Breaking Heat, Shattered Soul**

Olivia had been at work for almost 4 days straight and her back was aching. She'd only had one night in her bed before that, and then only a 4-hour-sleep after going out with the boys to celebrate the end of a case. She pushed open her front door with relief. "Honey, I'm home." This was usually met with a grumpy reply and then a kiss hello, but today there was silence. The apartment felt empty.

As Olivia went to put down her badge in its usual place, she saw a letter. With a frown, she opened it. "Liv. I have no idea how long it will be before you're home, so I'll let you know we left on Tuesday. I've left you. Goodbye. Casey."

Olivia instantly tried her phone, but it just kept ringing. She fell onto to bed. She knew the hours had put a strain on them, and with the baby, and her not being there, Casey was left to pick up the slack. She was good under pressure, but...

She sighed, hearing the mailbox pick up. "Case, it's me. I know my hours are horrible, that we've been strained with everything going on, but I had no idea it was...but I don't blame you. Don't you think I deserve an explanation? A real one? Not just that you've left. I did all this for you, the two of you. I..." her voice broke, "I still love you with everything I have. I want to put things right. Just tell me what I need to do. I'll do anything. I wish you weren't in so much pain you felt the need to leave. Talk to me," she sighed, hanging up, hoping she wouldn't delete it.

Casey, sitting in a hotel room on a huge, lonely bed, listened to the message several times, her fingers caressing the photo of Olivia that appeared before typing out a message. "I've tried to talk to you. You don't listen. You never listen. There's no point anymore."

Olivia woke up from the beep, not that she'd been able to sleep. She sat up, reading the message. "I'm always too tired when I get home. Which I would guess is the problem. But I'll listen now, I promise."

"Now is too late, Olivia. Please let me know when you'll be out next, I need to pick up some of Sophie's toys."

"No, I'll bring them. Right now. Where are you? Don't I even get to see her to, at least, say..." she couldn't finish it as she hit Send.

There was a long pause before Casey replied. "Room 108 at The International."

Olivia packed a bag with clothes and toys, before pulling the small box from her nightstand. Opening it, it had a ring with their birthstones, one for Sophie and an empty one.

* * *

She knocked on the hotel room door, holding the box in her pocket.

A few moments later, Casey opened the door with a sleepy Sophie in her arms. Sophie had marks all over her face, and when Casey saw the look on Olivia's face, she rolled her eyes, leaving the door open as she walked back in. "Chicken pox. Which you'd know if you ever listened to the messages I left you."

Olivia sighed. "What do you want from me?"

"Toys. You offered to bring them." Casey dropped a kiss to Sophie's head, sitting back down in the armchair with her.

Olivia opened the bag, pulling out a couple stuffed animals and a teething ring, handing them to Casey. As soon as their skin touched, Olivia kissed her fingers, holding her hand. "I know it's my fault and I'm so sorry. I know this won't make up for anything, but..." she set the box on Casey's lap with the ring as she kissed Sophie's cheek. "Think of her if nothing else," she said as tears began.

Casey lowered her eyes, putting the ring on the table without looking at it. "I have been, Olivia. I was thinking about her when I had to rush her to hospital 3 days ago because she had a really high fever, I was thinking about her when I left you a million messages...and when the doctor told me it was dangerous for a pregnant woman to look after someone with chicken pox, I still thought of her and the fact that I'm all she has."

Olivia's eyes widened. "P-pregnant? I—you're—" she sat on the bed. "Of course, I would know that if I was around more often, but what do you want me to do, Case? Retire?"

"That's not what I want. I've never asked that. Look, you've dropped off toys, so if you don't mind, I'd like to get to bed."

"Casey...what do you want?"

"Sleep."

She shook her head. "What's it going to take? I'll do anything. Even sit with her while you get some sleep."

Casey sighed and rubbed her temple. "Olivia...go. What I want is for you to go. If I'd wanted to try and discuss this further, I would have stayed at the apartment. You may not remember having this conversation, but we have, hundreds of times, and I'm bored of it." She stood, placing a sleeping Sophie in her cot.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her belly. "So...there's nothing you want from me? Please, don't fight. Without the three of you, what do I have? I love you, I swear. The next time you see me I won't be a cop," her hands left as she walked toward the door. "If this is what's destroyed us, I'll get rid of it. I've worked enough years now. Seen too many dead women and children. You were the one who made me okay again Casey. I'd come home, curl up with you and feel better, but without you, I won't have my sanity anymore, so the next time you prosecute, when you do, I won't be there."

"...The issue is you didn't come home Olivia. I'm glad when you did it made you feel better, but you rarely did and you never told me what was going on, where you'd be, you never replied to any messages or calls... you…forget it. I'm tired." She opened the door.

Olivia sighed, hugging her tightly and kissing her cheek, relishing the feel and smell of her. "The next time I come back, I hope you're here." And she pulled away and left.

* * *

She went back to the station, tapping Elliot on the shoulder. "We need to talk."

He yawned, rubbing his tired face. "I thought you were going home to get a few hours sleep?"

She just shook her head, tears rolling down. "I've...I've got no reason to anymore. That's...why we need to talk."

He stood, leading her gently to an interrogation room. "What's happened? Are Case and Sophie ok?"

She sighed, handing him the note. "There at a hotel, but..."

"And you're here?! Go and talk to her!"

She shoved him into the wall in rage. "I tried that! She doesn't want anything to do with me! And-and she's pregnant, again..."

Elliot let her push him several times before pulling her into his arms, hugging her tightly. "Keep trying, Liv. All I can think of...is don't give up. That's what saved me and Kathy."

"H-how? What do I do? I can't retire, not yet!"

"You know she doesn't want you to, Liv. She understands why you do what you do. Look. Go home, take a few days off. Sleep for a bit, then go and see her in the morning once you're calmer."

She sighed. "I wouldn't be surprised if she's long gone by then."

"Then…book another room at the hotel?"

She sighed. "Th-that's not a bad idea."

* * *

A day or so later, with a small duffel bag, Olivia ended up in the room right next to her without her knowing. It was about 1AM and Sophie wouldn't stop screaming. She knocked on the door.

Tears in her eyes, fresh from a call from reception complaining about the noise, Casey opened the door, eyes trained to Sophie. "I'm sorry. She's not well."

Olivia nodded. "I know that, Case. Let me help. You've got enough on your plate right now."

Casey's eyes flew up to look at her and hesitated, but she'd been trying for almost an hour and nothing he tried was working. With a sigh, she placed Sophie in her arms and closed the door.

Olivia rocked the little girl, knocking once more. "Diaper bag, blanket, and binky please."

Casey looked at the things splayed around the room and gave another sigh before opening the door. "Just come in." She left the door open and walked to the bed, slipping in.

Olivia walked in, closing the door behind her. "Shh, shh, let's see. Ahh, here's the nummy to make that fever go away," she pulled the syringe with the correct dosage, waiting for her to suck on it before pushing it gently. She wiped her mouth, walking around with her and sitting in the chair.

Casey pulled the blankets up around her chin and closed her eyes, lying on her side and facing away from them.

Olivia sighed, relaxing in the chair as she grabbed an animal for her to suck on, kissing her head. "That's my little girl. It's no fun being sick, huh?" Within an hour, both were fast asleep in the chair.

Casey however, was unable to sleep, and rolled over once they were both quiet, watching them silently. Finally she stood, taking Sophie gently and laying her in her cot, covering her up and giving her favorite toy to her. Returning to Olivia, she looked down at her, unsure what to do.

Unknown to Casey, Olivia woke as she took the child from her and was now staring at her through the darkness. "I suppose you want me to go too now, huh?" she whispered.

"...You look tired."

"Yeah, of course I am. I couldn't sleep last night. All I could think was how badly I messed up, that I can't fix it and now you're gone with _our_ children away from me and you don't want me anymore."

Not wanting to think of what could happen to her at work if she was too tired, Casey stood for a moment before speaking softly. "Use the bed."

Olivia shook her head. "No, you need it. I still remember how sore your back got, even early on, with Sophie. I'd roll over in bed to you crying from the pain and try to make it better and...why are you doing this? It's just making me feel worse."

Casey sighed and stayed still in the darkness before returning to the bed and pulling away one of the blankets and returning it to her, laying it over her. It smelt of Casey's perfume. Silently, she returned to the bed.

"Hey Casey?" she whispered.

"What?"

"...If you need something..." she couldn't finish the sentence. She was the one who worked the long hours to provide for them. Casey knew that. "...I'm here."

"Tonight, you are, for once."

Olivia sighed, covering herself in the thin comforter and inhaling Casey's perfume. It broke her heart to lose her, lose them, but it wasn't as if it could never happen. Because she worked long hours she hadn't had the time to answer calls or text replies. They were losing viral connections.

She pulled out her phone, finally listening to the voicemails of how Casey missed her and asked why she never woke her up when she got home. In the last message about Sophie, telling her how sick she was and that they needed her home, Olivia could clearly tell how frightened she was, which showed she put on her court face, even now. She closed the phone, after putting it on Silent, and putting it back in her pocket.

Casey had come to her, had tried again and again, but Casey didn't think she or the kids were enough anymore. They were. Olivia knew that. She just had to prove it.

Sophie only slept for a couple of hours before waking again, grumbling softly. Casey had finally fallen asleep, tears drying on her cheeks.

Olivia rose to her feet, pulling her from her cot. "Sshhh. What's the matter? You feel cooler." she walked over to the table, turning on a lamp. She dug in the bag, fixing a bottle quickly before microwaving it a bit. "Are you hungry, huh? I bet you are," she sat back in the chair, feeding the child whose fever had reduced, but was still covered in chicken pox. "There. That's my big girl. Yes."

Sophie looked up at her with big eyes, letting go of the bottle to smile up at her, revealing to Olivia the begging of several teeth that she'd missed seeing come through.

"Oh, that's what's the matter, huh?" setting the bottle down, she grabbed a cold teething ring. "Here, suck on this."

Sophie grabbed it eagerly, sucking on it, taking it out occasionally to give wide grins to Olivia, clearly a game Casey enjoyed playing with her.

Olivia smiled at her, cuddling her close.

Sophie began muttering baby words at her, chattering away like she was having a conversation.

Casey gave a soft groan and rolled over, rubbing her face sleepily.

"Sshhh, let Mama sleep. We have to be quirt," she whispered.

"Mama!"

She smiled. "That's right. Yay!"

Casey, awake, didn't have the heart to tell her she'd now knew several words, and instead rolled over once more and pulled the blankets up over her head.

Olivia rocked her as Sophie sucked on the cold ring, her eyes drooping. Olivia stood, walking around with her a bit, until she was fast asleep. She laid her back in her cot then turned the light off, eyes on Casey as she, herself, wrestled with sleep, wanting to be awake in case she needed her.

Casey felt Olivia watching her, and knowing one of them would probably be up again with Sophie soon enough, she slowly pushed back the covers from one side of the bed with her foot. "Go to sleep, Olivia."

"I'm...fine... You don't have to do everything."

"Get in, Liv."

She got up, without argument, and slid in. "Why?"

"Because it's cold, and you're tired, and aside from physically throwing you out, there's not any other way to get you to leave the room, so get some sleep." She rolled away from her, closing her eyes.

She sighed. "All right." Olivia laid there, but she wasn't warm, just exhausted and soon passed out.

* * *

When Olivia woke the next morning, the sun from the window resting on her, Casey had rolled over and was now curled up against her, her lips pressed against Olivia's collarbone in a sleeping kiss.

Olivia comfortably wrapped her arms around her, fearing when she would wake up and pull away.

Sophie was the first to wake, and announced loudly, "Poops! Poops!"

Olivia sighed, laying Casey to the side before getting up to change Sophie. After she heated a bottle and sat beside a sleeping Casey, feeding the child.

Sophie's chattering woke Casey who, after working out where she was, slid from the bed. She stood awkwardly for a moment before speaking. "If you don't mind staying for a few more minutes, I'll have a shower, then Sophie and I have a few appointments."

Olivia nodded. "Go ahead."

Casey walked into the bathroom, resting against the door and listening to Olivia talk for a while before walking to the shower. Once she'd washed and dressed, she walked out, taking Sophie from Olivia's arms. "Thank you for your help. I'm sure you need to get to work now." Without looking at her, she turned her back, walking to where she'd stored Sophie's clothes.

Olivia stayed where she was.

As she picked out clothes, she glanced back. "You can go now."

"I took a couple days off. I'd like to go with you and Sophie."

"..You think a couple of days will fix things?" Casey put Sophie on the bed, her clothes next to her.

"No, but can't we start there and keep going? Casey, do you still love me?"

Casey didn't reply as she dressed Sophie.

Olivia rested a hand on her shoulder. "Please answer me. I love you guys. If I didn't I wouldn't be working so hard for you. This is the last thing I would ever want. Okay, I'm less than perfect for most, but you used to tell me you loved that about me. How I fought so hard for so long for what was right and that you'd take even a second. I realize I...haven't been the best, but I love you and I want there to be an 'us' again. Don't you want that?"

"...What I want is to see you more than once a week, for more than an hour before you go to sleep. What I want is for you to want to spend time with us." She pulled on Sophie's jacket and picked her up, kissing her cheek. "Are you ready to go and see your favorite aunty?"

"I want that too. It's just...Casey..."

"Just what? There shouldn't be any just." She pulled her bag over her head, grabbing the baby carrier before pulling open the door.

Olivia grabbed her free wrist. "You're right...about everything. I should be home more, keep in contact. I don't deserve all that you've given me these past years... But I need you, need them."

"Then...prove it." Casey pulled her hand away and walked from the room.

Olivia followed her.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, now what do you think will happen?

_I know we haven't updated Cabin Fever in... *squirms* over a month, but we've been writing a lot on others. We'll get back to that one._

Please R & R!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	2. Talk

Saving What's Left

By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Ch. 2: Talk**

It was evening before they returned to the hotel. There had been several doctors' appointments, and now Sophie was fast asleep in her sling, mouth hanging open a little, her dummy dangling from it.

Olivia had followed them everywhere, but Casey had barely spoken to her, only occasionally asking her to look after Sophie, and had only let her into Sophie's appointments, but not her own. Now she stood outside her own room, key in hand, and had no intention of letting Olivia in again.

"Casey..."

"Goodnight, Olivia."

Olivia sighed, slipping off her ring and putting it beside Sophie. "Bye," she turned, going into her room, hoping seeing the ring would, somehow, give Casey the jar she needed to make them talk.

It was over an hour before there was a gentle knock on Olivia's door a tear-stained Casey standing outside.

"Who is it?"

"...Me."

Olivia opened the door. "And what would you like, to hand me our child then slam the door in my face...again?"

Casey lowered her had, her tears starting again.

Olivia took her shoulder, guiding her inside. "I'm sorry, but after last night, can you blame me for being a bit bitter? Here," she handed her a few tissues.

Casey wiped her eyes, but just cried more, soaking the tissues.

As much as she wanted an explanation, she hated seeing Casey cry even more. Gently, she wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close.

She cried for a long time, releasing all the fear and anger she'd felt in the last few days, soaking the top of Olivia's shirt.

Gently she rubbed Casey's back, but stayed silent, holding her securely.

When she finally stopped, pushing herself back gently, she gave a quiet apology, motioning to Olivia's shirt, before motioning to the room next door. "I s-should get back.

"Wait, Case."

She wiped her face and finally looked up at her.

"Please, let me help. She—they're my kids too and...I miss you."

Tears sprung to Casey's eyes again, and after a few seconds, she muttered, "We were about to order dinner…if you want to."

Olivia wiped them away. "I would love to, sweetie," she stepped closer, hugging her. "I still love you guys, you know."

Casey stepped back, holding up her hands before hugging herself, then left the room, leaving the door to her own room open.

Olivia pulled a thick quilt out from the bottom of the bag. It was the quilt she would always wrap Casey in when she was sick or upset. When she was pregnant with Sophie, Olivia could've sworn it was another layer of skin. Then she walked out the door, closing that one and walking into theirs with the quilt around herself. "Hi."

More tears sprung to Casey's eyes when she saw the quilt, and she had to restrain herself from walking to Olivia and curling up with it, letting her hold her. Sophie looked up at Olivia before continuing her attempt at crawling as Casey pushed the room service menu into Olivia's hands.

Olivia sat in the chair again. "What are you getting?"

"I'm not very hungry." Casey continued to look at the quilt longingly.

Olivia opened her arms. "You can come sit with me."

Casey hesitated, then sat on the bed instead, looking at the other menu.

Olivia sat up, reaching for her. "Casey, you want us to be closer? You need to do something... Please?"

She rubbed her hands on the bed several times nervously before approaching her.

Olivia smiled, guiding her to sit in her lap, wrapping it around them. "This reminds me of when we first found out about Sophie. You'd been sick when I got home. I helped you to the couch, gave you a little water and a cloth for your head and you told me you'd been to see the doctor. We both fell asleep discussing baby names."

"Then the next five nights, when I felt exactly the same, I was alone."

Olivia held her close. "I'm sorry."

"And this time, when I found out, you didn't answer your phone. I even waited at the precinct for two hours and left you a note that you obviously never looked at."

She sighed. "I crashed in the crib...i-it must've been thrown away."

"Mm. What do you want? I should call." Casey went to stand.

Olivia pulled her back down. "In a...minute..."

Casey sighed and sat silently, stiffly.

"You don't want to be here?"

"...I love you, Olivia. You know I do. I'm just sick of your apologies. They don't mean anything anymore."

She nodded. "...I love you too. I want to...do more. Everyone needs me left, right and sideways, but you...should be the most important."

"Don't you think other people need me? You think my life just suddenly stopped when I MET YOU?"

She shook her head. "No, not completely, but maybe for a moment..."

Casey gave a gentle laugh. "Well, it didn't. I still have friends, I still have work, I still have family, I still have things I need to do, but I…for some apparently strange reason, thought that you and I were more important. You obviously thought differently. What do you want to order?"

"...I did, but until you I didn't have anyone else. No kids, no family like you do."

"Fine, ok. What do you want for dinner?"

"...Pasta. Or soup. Something really warm. And I'm glad I have you, really I am."

Casey stood, moving to the phone to call room service. Sophie pulled herself up onto her feet by Olivia's trousers, wobbling there for a moment, before falling to her bottom. "Oops!"

"Whoa! That's really good. Try again, come on." Her sad eyes met Casey's. She'd been there for all these firsts for Sophie and she...wasn't. For anything. She wasn't just Casey's kid. This next one wouldn't be hers either. The word _theirs_ hurt to even think. Casey had been doing all of this by herself and she shouldn't have had to...ever. Tears began to prick at her eyes.

Instead of trying again, Sophie held up her hands to be help, waving them about for attention.

Casey looked away from Olivia, knowing if she saw Olivia cry, she'd instantly do anything she wanted.

Olivia sighed, picking up Sophie and giving her a teething ring.

Casey stayed silent after ordering dinner before walking over to them. She hesitated for a moment before dropping a kiss to Olivia's head.

Olivia smiled a small smile. "I've...missed so much and you shouldn't have to be a married single parent."

Casey bit back her reply, not wanting to rub salt in the wound. Instead, she sat silently on the arm of the chair.

Olivia's free hand rested on her arm. "Do you still have the box I gave you?"

"..It's where you put it."

Olivia placed it on her knee. "Open it."

Casey looked unsure. "Liv..."

"It's to...remind you of us...and the kids. I was going to take you out to dinner and give it to you. I'd...been saving up for it, but, being as I don't know when we'll get to dinner or if... Casey, just open it, please?"

Casey reached out and took it, looking at it for a moment before opening it.

Inside was a ring with a diamond, sapphire, emerald and a free slot. "It's our birthstones, Sophie's and...if we ever had another..."

"...It's beautiful, Liv."

"Just like you and our kids. Try it on."

She slid it onto her finger. "...It fits perfectly.

She smiled. "I'm glad. Casey, I know I'm away too much. I'd like to make up for it."

Casey sighed, lowering her head. "...Can you, though?"

"Can't you find it in your heart to let me try? I love you. I love our kids. You must know that."

"...I don't know." She stood to let room service in.

Olivia stood, laying a sleeping Sophie in her cot, then sitting back down. "You know, we could have that date right now...if you wanted to."

"…Why should I trust you, Olivia? You said after we got married, you'd be around more, you said after Sophie you'd be around more, you said if I got pregnant again you'd be around more..."

She sighed. "That's true, but until you up and walked out, I didn't know how much you meant to me. It sounds really bad, but it's true. You three are my only light through this dark world, but I just couldn't figure out how important the light was...until I lost it. You're right. I don't deserve anything after all the promises I've broken, but I'm asking...because I love you and if you didn't love me, you wouldn't be fighting so hard not to fall, hoping I'll catch you," Olivia stood behind her.

Casey closed her eyes, then said quietly. "..I'm not coming back to you. But I'll let you try."

Olivia nodded. "So, should we eat?"

Casey nodded, sitting at the small table.

Olivia brought the food over, sitting opposite of her as her phone, that was on the table, began to flash showing Elliot's name. She sighed, throwing it in the chair. "If he wants me, he can come find me."

Casey looked unconvinced, remembering, even on their honeymoon, Olivia claiming this, then finding her on the phone in the bathroom. Silently, she pulled food towards her and began playing with it.

Olivia sighed, going over and grabbing it before handing it to her. "You keep it until you want me to leave."

Casey looked up at her, giving a small smile, before taking the phone, then looked at Olivia's food. "…Can I try some of the soup?"

She nodded. "Can I try some of yours?"

Casey pushed it towards her, finishing the majority of Olivia's soup before pushing it back.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, now what do you think will happen?

Review Thanks to: Kikilia14, deadlockQ, Kai, JeffHardyfan724, Bkwrmchar, Ren Victoria & tummer22

Please R & R!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	3. Loss

Saving What's Left

By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Ch. 3: Loss**

A few days later, Olivia had gone to work on a tough pedophile case – he'd molested twenty kids – and had locked him up, finally. She was surprised, getting home a little after five, to see Casey asleep on the couch with Sophie. She walked over, grabbing her to lay her in the nursery, before sitting on the coffee table in front of Casey. "Casey?"

Casey grumbled, scrunching her eyes tighter.

She rubbed her arm. "Casey, I'm home."

Her eyes finally opened, and she frowned before remembering where she was. "..Where's Sophie?"

"I laid her in her cot a few minutes ago. She's fine. Sleeping away. I'm surprised to see you two back here."

"..The hotel bed was hurting my back."

"Sit up."

Casey sat up slowly. "..How was work?

She sighed, sitting beside her. "Horrible. Twenty kids. All molested. We caught the bastard, thank God, but..."

Casey gave a nod, reaching out a hand to squeeze her hand gently.

Olivia smiled, bringing her hand up to kiss it as her other arm snaked around to rub Casey's neck and back in circles. "I hope this still works."

"...You don't need to do that."

She raised a brow. "I thought your back was hurting."

"It...I'm not pregnant."

"But...the other day..."

"I was."

Realization dawned on her. "...Chicken pox caused a miscarriage?"

Casey cringed at the word, turning her face away.

Olivia hugged her tightly. "I-it-I'm..."

Casey stayed stiff in her arms, trying to stop the tears that had been threatening.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said as her tears fell. "It-it's my fault a-and I won't go!"

"It's not your fault." Casey whispered.

"Yes it is! I-if I'd been here y-you wouldn't have been at risk. I-I know you're tired of hearing this, but I'm so, SO sorry!"

Casey lifted her head, her hand cupping Olivia's chin, her lips pressing gently to hers. "It's not your fault."

"Why?"

"Because I said so, and I'm always right, aren't I?" She offered a sad smile.

Olivia nodded, kissing her gently. "Please, say you'll stay. We can try again. I'll go with you."

Casey's tears finally began to fall and she rested against Olivia, sobs wracking her body.

Olivia hugged her tighter, rubbing her back. "I'm here now. It's gonna be okay. I've got you. Shhh..."

She cried for a long time, curled against Olivia, letting her hold her tightly, before finally falling into a fitful sleep.

Olivia kissed her head. "I'm going to make it okay again. I promise."

Her phone on the table vibrated, showing Elliot's number.

Sighing, and still holding her close, rocking gently, she answered. "Yeah?" she whispered.

"Are you coming back? Captain said you were going home to pick something up."

She sighed. "Elliot, I-I can't. Remember how I said Casey was pregnant again a few days ago?"

"Yeah, but Liv, I need you back here! We still need to check out if there are more kids. We need to talk to the guy."

She sighed. "I know that, but wouldn't you stay home with Kathy if she had a...miscarriage? At least for a bit? El, I can't go..."

He was silent for a moment, and when he replied, his voice was gruff, as it usually got when he was trying to either say sorry or show emotion. "I'll let Cragen know. Get you a few days off."

She sighed. "Thanks. If I could help, I would, but..."

"It's fine. Tell her I'm ...tell her... you know. Bye."

"Bye." She closed it, setting it back on the table.

* * *

Sophie was the first one to wake next morning, her crying waking Olivia from the uncomfortable position she'd fallen asleep in on the couch, trying not to wake Casey.

Olivia gently laid Casey on the couch, covering her with the quilt as she went to get Sophie who was standing in her cot, gripping the edges. "Hi little girl. Let's get you changed and dressed and then you can come with me."

"Mama!"

Olivia smiled, dressing her in a cute flowery dress and carrying her out to the living room. She walked into the kitchen, making her a bottle and sitting in the chair beside Casey as she fed her.

She kept reaching out to Casey, not used to Olivia, and finally Casey awoke, hair tangled and a confused look on her face.

Olivia moved over to sit beside her. "You didn't like the hotel bed. You said it hurt your back," she answered, brushing the hair from her face.

It dawned on her what had happened the night before and she lay back again, turning against the pillows.

"I got home at five, put her in her cot, then sat out here and talked to you. She only woke twice, then I came back out here and laid with you in my arms while you slept."

Sophie reached out to Casey once more, whimpering.

She dried her fresh tears and sat again, pulling her onto her lap. "Hey, look! Mommy put your new dress on!"

"Yeah, I did! You look so pretty!"

When Casey saw the bottle in Olivia's hands, she said quietly, "She only has two, sometimes 3 bottles a day now. She mostly has baby food. Her favorite is mashed up banana."

"Should I feed her a bit of that now or wait?"

"Wait now. Don't you…have to go to work?"

She shook her head. "When I came home so early last night, I wasn't going to stay. Then after you said...what happened, I couldn't leave you here, so when Elliot called, asking when I would be back...I explained what happened and he said he would talk to Cragen about me getting a few days off. So, no, I don't have to go to work today."

"…Thank you."

"Well, you're welcome, but why are you thanking me?"

"...You didn't have to stay. Are you going to say thank you to Mommy?" Sophie gave her wide grin to Olivia and said something that passed as a possible thank you.

Olivia nodded. "So, can I hold you while you're awake? Is that okay again? I do intend to make up for everything...try to anyway. Casey, I have a hard question to ask. Can you try not to be upset?"

Casey set Sophie on the floor, and she immediately began her half walk, half crawl, to where she'd left her toys the day before. "...What?"

"...Did you—do you want another baby or were you just hoping I'd be around more?"

Casey looked like Olivia had hit her, and suddenly Olivia felt a weak but powerfully meant punch in her stomach. "How can you ask me that? Are you asking if I got rid of it? Do you think I wanted this to happen?! You know I've always wanted a big family! Yes, I STUPIDLY hoped that you would be around more like you said you would be, but I WANTED this baby. With or without you."

Olivia nodded. "I know that. I'd never suggest that, Casey, I swear! I feel even worse than you do... If I had been here, I would've taken care of Sophie when she was sick and then that wouldn't have happened! That was my fault, Not being here is my fault! You leaving? My fault. But I swear to you, when that happens I won't make the same mistakes. I know I've said that before, but I really do mean it this time."

"You've said that before, too."

She nodded.

"Do you….want children? Is there any point in us being together? Do we even have the same goals in life anymore?"

"Yes, I do. I love you. The kids are an expansion of our love. I-I have to work. You take care of Sophie. One or both of us needs to have a source of income. I need to work those horrible hours, but don't you ever believe that I'd rather be there than home, here, with you two. Do you think we can repair this, if we try? I know. It's like 95& on me, but..."

"Elliot has kids, he makes it work, plenty of other people on the squad make it work…why is it so hard for you?" Casey pushed.

She sighed. "Maybe I've just been alone for too long. Catching creeps is integrated into my being. I've...never had anyone depending on me. Mom's dead, the sperm holder's dead...hopefully, no siblings. I know you're strong, Casey. I guess I just over estimated your parental role, but I had no right to do that. I want to be here for you guys."

"Be here for us, or be a part of 'us'?"

"Both."

Casey stared at her for a long time before giving a nod. "Ok."

"Do you want to come in with me when I talk to Cragen?"

"What are you going to say?"

"That...uh, gee. Hadn't really...besides asking for shorter hours, but with what we deal with," she sighed, "how is that even possible? Advice would be greatly appreciated about now, counselor."

"It's not…shorter hours you need, Liv. I understand what you're doing, you just..." She gave a sigh and rubbed her forehead. "You're there when you don't need to be there. You're looking after other people's families when you need to be looking after your own. You know after a big case, Cragen says you can come home, but you never do. You're always there, and you're always on call. No one else is on call 24/7. They all have down time but you…you're always working."

"So...you want me to come home and turn my phone off?"

"I want you to let everyone else know when they're tired, when they have other stuff planned, they can't just call you because you have a life that you need to live too!"

"I can do that. If they really need me though..."

"If they really need you, they can call you, or they can call me, or they can come here, but they have a station full of other people Olivia, you're not a one woman squad."

She nodded. "That makes sense."

Casey sighed, rubbing her stomach for a moment before standing. "I'm going to a shower."

Olivia nodded, a dreamy sigh falling from her lips, in wishing she could be part of it, but knowing she had to watch Sophie. Her hands traced Casey's figure in the air.

Casey hesitated in the doorway, watching Olivia's movement before offering quietly. "She'll be ok in her cot for a while if…"

Olivia picked her up, with a few toys and laid her in her cot, standing in the doorway of the bathroom, grinning like a teen, but trying, unsuccessfully, to hide it.

Casey undressed nervously, realizing this was the first time in months she'd been naked in front of Olivia, but she craved closeness.

Olivia smiled, reaching a hand out to caress her shoulder. "You...seem nervous."

Casey gave a small shrug before turning towards the shower, then instead, bent down to turn the bath on.

Olivia undid her belt, sliding it through the loops until it hit the tile floor, making Casey jump. She unzipped and unbuttoned her jeans, sliding them to the floor along with her boxers before quickly making work of her jacket, shirt and bra before walked up to Casey and wrapping her arms around her.

Casey stood stiffly, looking down at the bath fill up, wanting more than anything to turn around, but her mind refusing to let her.

Olivia let go, stepping back. "Casey, I can...go if you don't want me here."

Casey sat on the edge of the tub, her hand brushing the water for a moment before she turned to Olivia, tears shining in her eyes. "If I let you in again...especially now...and you.."

Olivia sat on her knees, wiping them away. "I'll change everything. What you asked aren't major changes and they do make sense. I'm just used to you being used to my work schedule. You were always there, no matter what time it was, when I needed you the most," she grabbed her hand, kissing it, "I'll change it. For you, for Sophie, for us."

She slid forward, wrapping her arms around Olivia's neck.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "I've missed this, missed you, my girl," she nipped and kissed her neck.

Just as Casey raised her head, her mouth inches from Olivia's, there was a familiar cell phone ring from outside the room.

Olivia cocked a brow. "...Probably important. They know I'm off for a few days, but..." she leaned in closer, the hot, passion, that warm glow filled her as she pulled her back as she fell onto the floor, running her hand through her long red hair, moaning.

Casey kissed her back, her hands holding tightly, but she gave a sigh as the ring began again, and after a moment, pushed herself away. "Go and answer it. I'll be in the bath."

Olivia stood, pulling on a robe and tying it as she ran out, answering it. "Benson."

"Liv, I know you're...but we need you. Big case."

"Involving?"

"Missing 2-year-olds. Three of them. All within the last 3 hours."

Olivia walked back into the bathroom. "Any leads on why the toddlers were nabbed?" she asked, seeing Casey perk up, leaning over the edge of the tub in interest.

"No idea. Taken by a man and a women from the street. We need you Liv. You know I wouldn't be asking if we didn't."

She sighed again. "I know, but..." she looked at Casey."...I'll call you back," she hung up. "Casey...they really need me, but I know you guys do too."

Casey sunk back into the tub and looked up at her for a moment. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to help those kids, but...you guys are important too. Three kids snatched by a man in a woman in the past three hours... If I go, you won't leave again, will you?"

Casey studied her face for a moment before shaking her head. "Say goodbye to Sophie before you leave, and call when you can."

"Promise?"

"As long as you do."

Olivia disrobed and quickly, pulled her clothes back on before leaning over and kissing her deeply. She still looked hesitant as she looked at Casey from the doorway.

She considered taking everything back and staying, then she went in, hugging a sleepy Sophie and kissing her cheek. She walked out, pulling her shoes on, dialing Elliot. "I'm on my way."

Casey hesitated before pushing send on a message and Olivia received it just as she reached her car. "I love you."

She smiled, sending one back with a kiss as she pulled away.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, now what do you think will happen?

Review Thanks to: Kai, Bkwrmchar, Ren Victoria, Kikilia14, deadlockQ, tummer22 & Guest

Please R & R!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	4. Mistaken Identity

**WARNING: This chapter contains mature content.**

Saving What's Left

By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Ch. 4: Mistaken Identity**

Olivia entered the station and was greeted by Elliot. "Hey, sorry I had to pull you away."

She nodded. "Where are we at on this? Do we have a motive?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. We've got a mother over there, another in room 1, and a witness over by the coffee. Take your pick."

"Are the kids related?"

"Nope, but they all look similar. Blonde, green eyes..."

"You said it was a couple, right? Anyway, I'll take one of the mothers."

* * *

As promised, Olivia had kept in touch with Casey, messaging her when she could, but having had her around for the past few days, Sophie called for her before bed, wanting a hug. Unable to get her down and knowing a drive normally put her to sleep anyway, Casey drove to the precinct, walking into the squad room with a sleeping Sophie, a smile pulling at her mouth when she saw Olivia at her desk, frowning over her phone.

Olivia looked up, sighing, but then smiled. "And there are my two favorite girls," she stood up walking over and hugging them.

"She wanted to say goodnight to you."

"Oh." She smiled, taking her in her arms, and rocking her gently as she kissed her cheek.

As Sophie cuddled into her, one of the mothers, who'd insisted waiting at the station, suddenly gasped. "My baby!" She raced foreword, attempting to take Sophie from Olivia's arms.

Olivia stepped back. "A little help over here! Ma'am, this is my daughter!"

The witness who'd been sitting with Munch and a sketch artist, stepped towards them, her hand pointing at Casey. "That's her! That's the woman I saw!"

"Whoa! Whoa! Wait, when and where?"

The mother hovered over Sophie who awoke and began crying. "Why have you changed her clothes? Is she ok?"

The witness stood staring at Casey. "I told you where! Outside the park near my sons primary school! She was with a man. Ask her where the other children are!"

"She might've taken her for a walk, but she wasn't—" she held her closer. "Shhh, shh, Casey, were you there?"

"I haven't been out. I was with you until Elliot called!"

She nodded. "Okay, I believe you. Go grab someone will you, please, to help us sort this out and will you two stop hovering you're scaring her!" Olivia snapped.

The lady continued to claim Sophie was her baby, crying to hold her, and Sophie continued to cry because she didn't know why all these people she didn't know were making so much noise.

The witness, despite being assured by Cragen Casey was the resident ADA, was still insistent that she was the woman she'd seen.

Olivia sighed, disappearing into Cragen's office, trying to calm Sophie from all the noise. "Shhh, shh, it's going to be okay."

Fired up, her face almost matching her hair, Casey followed her. "Nice to know you believe me, Benson! I've been with you all day, and even if I hadn't been, you think I'd go out and kidnap little girls with some guy I've never met?!"

Olivia looked up. "I don't think that. I thought it was a valid question to stop her arguing. You would never do that. Excuse me for questioning the wrong way!" she rested Sophie in her arms, who had quieted down since the noise had died. "Now, I'm going back out into the commotion to help get this sorted out. Casey, I didn't mean to imply anything. I just thought, if you said you weren't there, she would stop." And she walked from the office.

Casey stayed in the office for a while, hoping everything would cool down and be at least a little sorted out, but when she walked out again, Olivia was still trying to convince the woman Sophie was her daughter and Cragen and Elliot had their heads bent over the sketch the witness had been working on before Casey arrived.

She approached them, stopping when she saw the drawing.

Elliot just managed to pull Sophie from her arms before she hit the floor, her face white.

"Casey!" Olivia called, rushing over, "Casey... Elliot, what...?"

"She just saw the sketch. I don't…should I call a bus?"

"No, just put her in the crib. I...don't think it's anything serious. Out of curiosity, can I see the sketch?"

He held it up. "Looks exactly like her, Liv. And the witness hadn't even seen her then." He handed her Sophie before picking up Casey and taking her from the room.

She followed them. "It's not Casey, but she looks just like her. I've got a name in my head, from a long time ago, when Cabot was still prosecuting. I don't know why."

He glanced down at it again, then shrugged. "I don't remember anything." As he lay Casey down on one of the beds, she gave a groan.

Olivia sat down next to her, lying Sophie in her arms. "Here, sleep with Mama. Casey, she's next to you," she whispered, kissing her cheek. She walked out with Elliot. "I...think she's in the database," she said as she made her way over, typing the name in. "Hey, is this the woman?" she asked the witness.

"Yes, I've told you! The woman who was just in here! I hope she's in the cells!"

Elliot pulled Olivia close, pointing out to where it had known alias on the screen. "Amelia Novak."

"She's definitely **not** Casey, but we do need to talk to her. What do you think? Long-lost sister?"

Elliot gave a shrug, reading through. "You'd want to hope not."

"It's **not** her. She's been with me until you called."

Elliot gave a nod. "I know. Despite the fact I hate her just a little bit as an ADA, she's kind of nice as a person. Don't tell her I sad so. I'll go speak to the captain, you see if she'll tell you anything about this woman."

She nodded. "But you do believe me, right? If she wanted another kid, she'd have one herself, not kidnap someone else's."

He gave a nod. "And I know that if she started doing something like that, you'd be the first one to tell me, right?"

She nodded. "I'll go see what I can find out."

* * *

Casey now sat on the bed, head between her legs, moaning.

"Casey," she walked in, sitting beside her.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I think I'm going to be sick."

Olivia quickly grabbed a trash can, placing in between Casey's feet, rubbing her back. "It's going to be okay Casey."

"No, it's not. Oh god. It's not."

"Casey? Here," she brushed her hair back and held it.

She took several deep breaths before lifting her head. Eyes filled with tears, she buried her face in Olivia's shirt.

Olivia held her tightly. "Yes, it will be. I believe that you would never do that, but...you need to tell me what you know, okay?"

Casey watched Sophie for a moment, sleeping peacefully now that all the noise had stopped. "She's my sister. Was. Well, still is, I guess. I didn't—I thought...I haven't seen her for a long time. I have no idea why she's doing this or what she has planned..."

"Does she live here?"

"I don't know. Last I heard she was in prison."

She sighed. "I'm not surprised. I—she looked familiar, so I took a chance on a name. I think another ADA, before you came along, prosecuted her..."

"Amelia. Amelia Chase. My mom's maiden name."

"Thank you. I think Elliot went to talk to Cragen. He should be back soon."

Casey was sick into the bin just as Elliot walked into the room. "..I always did have bad timing. The captain remembers the case. Said he'll speak to her lawyer himself, see if he can get anything."

Olivia looked up from Casey. "Amelia Chase-Novak is her sister. Casey said she hasn't seen her in years. The last she knew, she was in prison."

Elliot gave a nod. "Ok, well Captain said take her and Sophie home, he'll call someone else in."

She nodded, rubbing Casey's back. "Casey, when you feel well enough, let's go home, okay?"

Casey gave a nod, apologizing once more.

"Don't. It's okay."

* * *

Once home, Casey did everything she could think of to take her mind off what she thought might be happening. Despite the lateness of the hour, she began cleaning, cooking and rearranging furniture.

Olivia, once laying Sophie in her cot, wrapped her arms around her. "Casey, stop this. I know you're worried, but it's not you who's done this," she said, nuzzling the back of her neck. "It's going to be okay."

"But...Liv, my mom still talks to her sometimes. She could have told her where you work, she could have told her about Sophie... Amelia could be doing this on purpose."

"On purpose...why?"

"I don't know. She's never liked me. Why do people ever do stuff like this? "

Olivia smiled. "Don't be silly! How can anyone not like you? You're beautiful, funny, smart...and so sexy," she kissed her cheek. "How about we have another bath?"

"..I didn't want to tell you in case you thought I was like her. Kind of stupid when you think about all the worries you had about the same thing." Casey gave a small smile.

She nodded. "So...about that bath?"

"I could probably do with another one..."

Olivia guided her into the bathroom. "Do you want me to strip you?"

Casey nodded, her eyes trained on Olivia's, willing her to make her stop thinking.

Olivia walked closer, kissing her as she backed her against the counter and slid Casey's pants and panties to the floor. She stopped, momentarily, to remove her own before popping the buttons on Casey's blouse. Once her skin was exposed, Olivia kissed and nipped her shoulders. "...Casey..."

"Make me forget," Casey spoke in a quiet voice.

Olivia nodded, unclasping her bra and slipping it from her shoulders. She then discarded her own, stepping back up to her. She kissed her lips softly, running down her neck, before turning to start the water.

Casey wrapped her arms around her from behind, pressing herself to her as she kissed her neck.

Olivia groaned, dropping to her knees, using the side of the filling tub for support. "Casey..."

Casey moved to her knees as well, pressing Olivia rather painfully against the tub as she continued to drop gentle kisses to her neck and shoulders, her hands roaming the flesh she hadn't seen in a long time.

Olivia grasped Casey's hands, moving them to her breasts, wincing at the pressure now that her hands weren't supporting her.

All Casey's emotions were coming out at once, fear from having a sick child, grief from losing another, anger at Olivia for not being there and anger at herself. She nipped Olivia's skin, pushing her harder against the tub as her hands still down between her legs, her body still pressed against her, preventing Olivia from moving.

"Casey, I need to move! Ow, ouch! Casey!"

Casey moved back, breathless, anger now shining in her eyes, barely covered by desire.

Olivia turned around, seeing the look in her eyes. "What do you want?"

"I want you to show me what I mean to you."

Olivia nodded. "Here or..." she looked at the nearly-full tub, "there?"

"Anywhere. Everywhere."

Olivia turned off the water, but stood and pressed Casey against the counter again, her hands rubbing and squeezing wherever she could reach. Seconds later, she took one of the protruding buds into her mouth, sucking on it eagerly, moaning for Casey.

Casey made no noise, her hands gripping Olivia's arms tightly, her breath catching in her throat.

Olivia swirled her tongue around it, biting before kissing her way to the other, being much harsher and hoping she wasn't hurting her.

Casey's hands just continued to grip her tightly the occasional low noise coming from her, almost a growl.

Olivia continued her ways on the other, her hand traveling lower to pinch her nerve bundle, biting her neck harshly as she made her way up.

Casey captured her lips hungrily when she finally reached them, her body beginning to shake.

Olivia plunged two fingers into her wet heat, thrusting harder and harder.

Casey was uncharacteristically silent, her body still stiff, fighting against itself as she gripped Olivia's arms, nipping her bottom lip and drawing blood.

Olivia pulled away. "What's the matter? What's wrong?" she asked, pulling her fingers away. "What am I doing wrong?"

Casey sighed, reaching out a hand and wiping the blood from Olivia's bottom lip away with her thumb. "Nothing, it's just...down there. There was...so much blood, and I just keep seeing it."

"Where? Were you hurt?"

Casey folded her arms, suddenly feeling exposed. When she spoke, her voice was harsh. "When I lost our baby."

Pulling her fingers away, Olivia pulled her close. "Casey...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even...baby," she held her tightly, rubbing her back. "We can stop. It's okay. We lost it, not just you..."

Casey stood rigidly in her arms, her body still shaking.

"Shh, Casey... I just thought it might help you forget, but..."

"Maybe it will, we can try again. I'll try harder!"

"But you shouldn't have to try to enjoy this, Casey... I'll wait, even though, seeing you like this just about makes me lose it... Y-you're so, just..." she closed her eyes, turning away.

Casey reached out, once more hugging Olivia from behind, this time the kisses on her neck were gentle.

She moaned, pressing herself against Casey, enjoying the feel of her skin, the breath on her neck, the kissing sound on her skin. "Ca-Casey... oh..."

Casey moved slowly around her, capturing her ear and nibbling it for a moment before stopping in front of her, eyes level. "Bath?"

Mouth hung, she opened her eyes and nodded, letting Casey lead her.

Casey guided Olivia in first, then sat between, her legs, resting against her and closing her eyes as the steam from the water rose around them.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, resting her head on her shoulder.

She rubbed her hands up down Olivia's legs, enjoying the closeness and comfort of her.

Olivia moaned softly by her ear, "More."

Casey turned her head and kissed Olivia's cheeks as she continued to gently massage her legs.

Olivia sighed, rubbing her chest, willing her legs not to move because there wasn't much room.

When Olivia's leg finally gave a twitch, splashing water out of the tub, Casey gave a soft laugh, turning her head again to smile at Olivia.

"I'm...trying not to...splash...too much..."

"I miss spending time with you, like this…you soaking the bathroom floor."

"Me too, but if you want me to soak it you're going to have to change positions."

Casey slid away from her, turning around and resting back on the other side of the bath, her feet caressing Olivia's thigh. "Over here?"

Olivia shook her head. "That's...weird. I kinda meant you on your stomach over by me."

"Why don't you come to me?" Casey gave a flirtatious smile.

Olivia smiled, getting to her knees before crawling over to her. "Like...this?"

"Uh-huh." Casey nodded, still smiling, her hands splashing a little water out of the tub as she lifted them to pull her closer.

Olivia laid in her lap, head resting on her chest. "I want you..."

"Then have me."

Olivia sat in front of her, kissing her at an odd angle and grabbing her hand to pull it downward.

Casey giggled into her mouth, remembering the first time they'd attempted this and Olivia had had to take a week off work with a bad back.

Olivia kissed her deeper, moaning "please" into her lips.

"How much do you want it?" Casey asked, her long fingers stroking the top of Olivia's thigh

"So much that if you don't, I'll finish myself off."

Casey smiled, kissing her gently. "Maybe I'd like to see that."

"Maybe I want you to. Maybe I want to see what you'll do."

"Challenge accepted."

Olivia stood and got out, drying herself off as she sat on the counter. "What do you want me to do? Here or where?"

"Wherever you want." Casey's eyes were travelling slowly up her legs.

Olivia slid from the counter, handing her the towel. "Get out. I'd...like a softer surface."

Casey stood from the bath, pulling the towel around her, eyes still travelling over Olivia.

Olivia opened the door, walking from the room and to their bedroom, lying in wait.

Casey followed a few minutes later, hair pulled back into a tight pony tail, the towel loosely wrapped around her body. She shut the door and leant against it.

Olivia smiled, on her stomach, propped up on her arms. "Well hi. I've been expecting you..."

"Is that so?" Casey approached, dropping her towel as she did so, and climbed onto the bed, dropping kisses down Olivia's spine.

Olivia moaned, arching her back.

Reaching the top of her bottom, Casey dropped one more kiss before pulling back. "I heard you've got something you might want to show me."

Olivia looked back to her. "Mhm... What would you like to see?"

"What you do when you think about me?"

She smiled switching positions to lie back against the pillows. She squeezed her breasts a bit as she moaned Casey's name, then her hands trailed her stomach again and again. She looked over at Casey.

Casey was watching her hands, her mouth open a little, desire shining in her eyes.

One hand reached between her legs, fingers tapping the spot as they reached up to wipe her Casey's hand.

Casey moaned quietly, her eyes still riveted to the spot Olivia's hand moved.

Olivia maneuvered herself so her feet were aimed at Casey as she spread her legs, wide. Even the thought of getting off in front of Casey, made her extremely wet. Her fingers tapped the spot between her legs, rubbing softly, moaning.

Casey swallowed, a hand reaching out to rest on Olivia's leg, unable to sit still without touching her somehow.

Olivia moaned louder as the heat Casey increased. Her fingers dove inside, trying to be steady, to give her a show, but it wasn't easy.

She heard Casey give a moan, and when she lifted her eyes, she found Casey's hand was now mirroring her own.

Olivia smiled, resting her hand on her leg, increasing her speed bit by bit as her breathing became more erratic.

Casey did the same, but soon her eyes closed and she began moaning Olivia's name, like all those nights she's craved her and she'd been away.

Olivia rolled onto her side, then pulled Casey to her, kissing her hard on the lips, feeling both of their bodies jump. "Fuck," she moaned into her lips.

Casey's hand replaced Olivia's, rubbing in slightly jerky movements as words spilled from her mouth. "I miss you so much."

"I m-miss y-you too," she pulled her as close as she could.

"I wa-ah, I want you in my arms every night. I want to show you how much I love you before you go to work every morning." She buried her face in Olivia's neck as her fingers continued to work.

Olivia wrapped her arms around you. "Y-you wi-will. God Case! More, please!"

Her fingers worked faster as she moaned into Olivia's neck.

Her body bucked hard into Casey's. "I'm n-not g-gonna l-last..."

Casey grasped Olivia's hand and moved it between her own legs. "Please."

Olivia's fingers stroked her, but upon feeling how ready she was, she went right in, thrusting steadily, waiting to see how much Casey could take.

Casey cried out her name captured her lips.

Feeling the aftershock, Olivia's body gave as she cried for her, pulling her hand away and wrapping her arms around her.

They held each other for a long time after that. When finally Olivia managed to say Casey's name, she received no response. Looking down, she saw tears on her face, but a smile on her lips as she slept.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, now what do you think will happen?

Review Thanks to: Kai, Bkwrmchar, Ren Victoria, Kikilia14, deadlockQ, tummer22 & Sand n' Sable

Please R & R!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	5. Two Sides

Saving What's Left

By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Ch. 5: Two Sides**

Casey was the first to wake, the light shining in her face and she gave a groan, remembering they hadn't shut the curtains the night before. She gave Olivia a push with her foot, and when that didn't rouse her, she said, "Can you smell pancakes?"

She rolled toward her. "Mm? What?"

Casey smiled, dropping a kiss to her nose, then her lips, then a deeper one. "You forgot to shut the blinds and my legs are too wobbly to get up, and the sun's in my eyes."

Olivia kissed her shoulders, pulling on a shirt and some pants before closing the blinds. Then she went in to get Sophie. She was usually up by now. "CASEY!"

Casey groaned. "Don't yell. Especially if there's a spider, because if there's a spider and it makes you yell, you know it'll make me faint or something."

She ran back into the room. "I don't care who she is or who's watching. I'm going to fucking strangle your sister!"

Casey sat up, pulling the blanket up around her. "Did Elliot message you? Has she done something?"

Olivia sat on the bed, pulling her close. "He didn't, but...Casey...sh-she's g-gone!"

"Wh-Sophie?" When Olivia nodded, Casey paled and shook her head. Standing, she pulled a shirt over her head. "You didn't look properly! She's just got out of bed, or maybe she cried and we didn't hear and one of the neighbors came to pick her up."

She nodded. "Okay, you look. I'm calling." She pulled out her phone, dialing Elliot.

Casey looked around everywhere before coming back to the room holding Sophie's favorite toy as she sat on the bed.

Olivia held her arm open. "Elliot, pick up your damn phone!"

Casey rested her head on Olivia's shoulder and said something about losing both her babies just as Elliot answered. "Stabler."

"Sophie's gone!"

"She…Liv, if Casey's gone again, just do what you did last time. We're really busy here. We have Amelia in and we're looking for the other kids."

"Casey's right here, with me! Here, say something!"

Casey mumbled Elliot's name through her tears, and he was silent for a moment before he sighed. "Shit, Liv! Do you know what time she went missing? How did they get in? We pulled Amelia in about an hour ago and she had no one with her."

"I don't know. I locked the door when I came home! I...haven't touched much...Elliot, if it's not her then..."

"…She did say when she came in 'that'll teach her'. When I asked who, she laughed. Look, I'll send crime scene your way. You bring Casey in. See if she can get anything from her."

"Wait, you want to put them in the same room? I don't know how good of an idea that is." She looked at Casey, covering the phone. "Get dressed. We're going in."

Casey nodded, standing and attempting to see to dress through her tears.

"Well, she's not talking to anyone else, Liv. It's worth a try."

"All right. We'll be there soon." She closed her phone and got properly dressed before sitting on the bed.

Casey was still attempting to do buttons up, hands shaking.

Olivia stood, doing up her buttons, before hugging her tight. "We haven't lost them both. We'll find her. I promise, sweetie."

Casey nodded, wiping her face before offering a watery smile and following Olivia from the apartment, still holding Sophie's toy.

* * *

Olivia walked in, Casey holding tightly to her. "Where is she?"

Elliot motioned to the first interview room. "Liv, are you sure you want to go in there too?"

She shook her head. "No, but...Casey, can you do this alone?"

"I've done a lot alone." Her words hadn't been meant to wound, but they did and Elliot saw the expression on Olivia's face.

Olivia pulled away, sitting at her desk, saying nothing.

Elliot watched Casey enter the room before putting a hand on Olivia's shoulder. "I'm sure she didn't mean it like that..."

"Really? You haven't heard her emphasize how much of a dead-beat she thinks I am for staying here so late, not being home at night or always being on call. Sh-she lost the one because she was taking care of the other when she had chicken pox. I-if I'd been there, that never would've happened..."

"You don't know that, Liv. Come on, let's go and watch, then you can go and do a daring rescue of Little Sophie and be her hero, hey?"

She sighed. "Hero, eh."

He walked her to the viewing room where they could see Casey standing by the door, still hugging the pink rabbit.

Amelia looked amused. "So, what are you doing here, big sis?"

"Funny, I could ask you the same thing. I'm the ADA."

"Huh, really? Gee, wouldn't have guessed th….oh no wait, I didn't have to. Mom told me. And how's...Olivia, is it? Are you two still having problems?"

Casey glanced towards the viewing window, knowing Olivia would be standing there by now."Why do you care? Why is it any of your business anyway?"

"Just wondering. Mom said you were thinking about leaving her, and taking ...Sonia with you? That is her name, isn't it? Blond, green eyes, cute, likes rabbits?"

"SOPHIE! And I might've been considering it, but we've...started working things out."

Olivia sighed. "She talked to her mom about it? I didn't know she still talked to her mom."

"Really? Her mom was up a few weeks ago. She came in to say hi. Yo- oh. Yeah, sorry, forgot to pass it on, I guess."

Olivia sighed. "Just forget it."

"So you've gone back to her, huh? Nice of you. You've always been nice, haven't you? Always doing good things. I'm always the bad one."

"Bad? Depends how you define it really. Troubled yeah. Although, I have to admit that last stunt was really one for the record books."

Amelia folded her arms. "Well, now it looks like little goody-two-shoes doesn't have life so perfect. Missing child, girlfriend who's never home..."

"Missing child? How would you know about that?" Her poker face was great, but even the mention of Sophie began to break it.

"...News travels. I keep an ear open for info on my little niece, don't I? Wouldn't like her coming from a broken home, we both know how damaging that can be."

"Oh yeah, we were broken all right. Got anything we ever wanted our entire lives. Groomed for success. I just wonder how I came out of that place and made something of myself, while you had to resort to a felony?"

"You're going the right way about not getting me to tell you where your baby is, sis."

She sighed. "All right. What do you want?"

"To talk to Olivia."

"I don't know if that's the best idea right now."

"Oh well. Good luck, then."

"Alone I assume?"

"Of course."

She walked out. "It's your turn."

Olivia nodded, walking in. "She said you asked to talk to me?"

"Well, much better looking awake than sleeping."

"What?"

"Casey never used to like satin sheets, must be a new thing."

Her eyes narrowed. "You've been there before?"

"Only last night."

"Why? What's the point?"

"You don't know? You're not a very good detective, are you?"

"You tell me."

"I want what she's got."

"Why kidnap a child who already has loving, caring parents? An adoption agency turn you away?"

She turned her face away, folding her arms. "I don't want someone who's not my blood."

"But the others...they weren't your blood, were they?"

"Who said I took any others?

She was stunned. "So...you didn't take the other three?"

"Oh, them. I told him what I wanted. He said no. Said you'd catch us. He got others instead, that looked like her, but I didn't want them, so I got rid of them. I only wanted one."

"Who's he? What do you mean you got rid of them?"

"What, more interested in them than Sophie? Tsk, Case won't be happy."

"I'm not, but they're important too."

She crossed her arms, looking smug. "Well, I'll tell you about them or about her."

"Her. Where is she?"

"The airport."

"With?"

"Can't tell you."

"Okay. Why?"

"I'm taking her away."

She nodded, knowing Elliot was watching through the window and had heard the whole thing. "Why? Casey and I aren't divorcing."

"Not yet. You will. I know her. She's like me. All or nothing."

"All or nothing?"

"You're not giving her what she wants, so she'll find someone who will. Then Sophie will feel just like I did. The oldest has to look after everyone, but is no one's favorite because everyone has a baby with their new partner. So I'm taking her."

Olivia stalked over to her, slamming her against the glass. "You're little psychotic mind games won't work on me, Chase! Now, tell me where you're taking my daughter!"

She grinned. "Oh, you're hot when you're angry. I can tell what Casey sees in you. Tell me, does Sophie mind cold weather?"

She slammed her into the wall. "Tell. Me. Where."

"Oops. You just knocked it straight out of my mind."

Olivia dropped her, walking to the other side of the room.

Elliot suddenly marched into the room, slamming Amelia back into her seat and cuffing her to the table. "Liv, go, there's a car outside. Casey thinks she knows where they're going."

"Got it!" she ran from the room, outside where Casey was waiting.

Several officers were in the car with them, leaving them no privacy to talk, but Casey slipped her hand into Olivia's, squeezing it gently.

Olivia scooted closer to her, laying her head on her shoulder.

Casey lowered her head and whispered in her ear. "I could never leave you forever. I love you too much."

Olivia nodded. "I didn't believe a word she said about you."

Casey kissed her cheek, then continued to hold her hand tightly the whole way to the airport.

"We're going to find her, I promise."

* * *

At the airport, with the assistance of security, they went looking, and were soon directed towards someone who had been pointed out to them, a man apparently travelling with four young children, one of them very vocal.

"Four blondes," Olivia pointed out. "Grab him!" she shouted, running after him.

He was holding Sophie, but abandoned all the other children when he saw her running towards him and began to run with her in his arms. Looking over his shoulder, a red-faced Sophie caught sight of her and continued the screaming he'd not been able to stop since they'd taken her. "Mama!"

Olivia ran faster. "STOP HIM!"

Several other officers ran at him, but were reluctant to tackle him while he held Sophie, and he took advantage of it, jumping a barrier, but he was too busy looking back to see how far Olivia ad caught up to notice Casey turn a corner ahead of him, and as he went past her, she tripped him, and he went crashing into bins as Casey held Sophie safely in her arms.

Olivia ran up, cuffing him behind his back them letting security take him as she went back to Casey. She hugged them tightly, kissing Sophie's red, tear-stained cheek. "Are you okay, baby?"

She continued her hoarse crying and reached out her arms to Olivia, clasping her favorite pink bunny in one hand.

Olivia pulled her into her arms, rocking her. "Sshh, sshh. It's okay. It's all okay now. What does Mommy say, huh? Should we go back to the station to get this worked out?"

"If I can walk. I think the fat bastard broke my foot." Casey gave Olivia a smile.

Olivia transferred Sophie to one arm. "Here, hang on. We'll go slowly."

As they walked slowly out, Casey offered, "See, you're not the only one with fucked up family."

"Fucked!" Sophie repeated, looking pleased with herself.

Olivia couldn't help laughing. "Good going, Mommy! She learned a new word."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, now what do you think will happen?

Review Thanks to: Bkwrmchar, Ren Victoria, Kikilia14 & deadlockQ

Please R & R!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	6. Expand

Saving What's Left

By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Ch. 6: Expand**

Two months later, Olivia had cut back her hours. Not a lot, but she wasn't on call all the time and had set days off to enjoy with her family. She found she appreciated that word more than she thought she ever would and always found herself telling people about 'her family'.

Today was one of her days off, and she was planning on taking Sophie to a petting farm. She'd learnt a lot more words since her unfortunate first few, and could walk now, too. She would follow Olivia around the house chatting to her in mostly made up words, popping the occasional word in. The night before she'd stomped around after Olivia in her new gumboots, giggling, until Casey had gone to bed with a headache. Now it was 6am and Olivia was already up making breakfast.

Olivia set the food on the table to cool as she walked back into their room. She curled around Casey, kissing her cheek.

Casey moaned, stretching, then smiled and wrapped an arm around her, trying to pull her back into bed.

Olivia kissed her neck. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Come back to bed and I'll show you just how beautiful I am." She tugged her again, trying to distract her from Sophie's yelling from the other room.

"Awake! Sophie awake!"

Olivia smiled, kissing her deeply before pulling away to go get Sophie ready for the day.

As Sophie ate her breakfast, Casey walked out, a long shirt on, putting her long legs on show, running a hand through her tousled hair. "Where are you going anyway? And am I invited or do I have to stay all by myself?"

"Oh, I was going to take her to the petting zoo. You can come if you want... God, look at those legs!"

"Where?" She looked behind herself

Olivia walked up to her, dropping to her knees as she caressed them. "Right here."

"Oh, those! Well, you know, if you invited me nicely, I could come and wear really short shorts for you."

Olivia stood back up. "What do you say, Sophie? Should we have Mommy come with us?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Poo poo!"

She groaned. "Well, that's never a good response and I think it's Mommy's turn to change you."

Casey gave a groan and picked her up, poking her tongue out as Olivia and walking from the room, unaware the back of the shirt had hitched up, showing her bum as she walked.

Olivia sat, finishing her pancakes and wondering if they would spend the entire day there. It had been two months since they'd worked things out and still her finger was without a ring. She knew Casey had it, but she wanted to wait until Casey asked her. She wanted it back, without question but...

* * *

As offered, Casey wore her short shorts, and Sophie insisted on wearing their gumboots, so after a long drive, when they finally arrived, they looked like an odd bunch, Sophie dressed for rain, Casey for summer, and Olivia in her usual work clothes. Sophie raced ahead, tripping and picking herself up constantly.

Olivia wrapped an arm around Casey. "Hey, you still want more kids, right?"

"Not…soon, but yes."

"When?"

"Why?" She turned to look at her

"I...just wondered."

Casey turned to continue walking, still holding her hand. "I don't know. The doctor didn't think...it will affect my chances of getting pregnant again. So...I don't know. Maybe next year. If you..."

"What will affect it?"

Casey sighed, her hand loosening a little. "The miscarriage, Liv."

Olivia held her hand a bit tighter. "But...it's not impossible."

She shook her head.

Olivia smiled, kissing her cheek. "Next year will work."

"Maybe...you could put this back on too?" Casey slid something into her hand, her eyes still trained on Sophie.

Olivia slid the ring back on her finger. "I was waiting for you."

"I lost it." Casey gave a guilty smile. "I put it on, but it was too big and it went down the hole and the hotel had to get a plumber in, and then I put it in a safe place…and I always forgot where that was."

She smiled. "Well, it's back where it belongs now."

* * *

A short time later, Olivia was returning from buying drinks, and saw Casey leaning over some railings, talking to Sophie as she petted a lamb.

Several men were standing behind her, discreetly checking her out, but one of them stood next to her, trying his luck. Hearing Olivia's approach, she stood with a smile.

"Oh, did I mention I'm married? This is my wife, Olivia. She knows how to use a gun and she can break a man's arm with her bare hands. Nice to have met you!" She walked past Olivia, patting her bum, leaving the guy staring at her awkwardly and a little scared.

Olivia smiled. "You still love to use my profession to scare them off, don't you?"

"Hey, I didn't say anything about you being a ..what are you again? All I can see is handcuffs and muscles."

She sighed, walking to the fence and shaking her head. "Is she having fun? Sorry that took so long. Swear the line was 50 people long."

"Aside from the fact she's insisting on calling it a pig, I think she wants to bring it home."

Sophie was squatted down stroking one of the sleeping lambs as the other children played with the more lively ones.

Olivia smiled, sipping at her drink. "They sure look sweet though."

"Don't you get ideas. We aren't getting one. If you want something soft to cuddle, I'll buy a bear suit."

"Or I could just cuddle you," she said with a smile.

Casey turned around, taking a sip of her drink as she eyed Olivia. "If I let you."

She sighed. "Yeah...there's that." She couldn't stop thinking about what had happened two months ago now. Elliot had been right. Casey hadn't meant it to be mean but... "I'm sorry. I know it happened months ago, but I'm sorry I didn't go in with you." Okay, she apologized, but she didn't feel better. Casey really had rubbed salt in the wound without meaning to. She was trying to be there for her and she just took it for nothing.

Casey reached out, pulling Olivia close. "Liv, you need to stop apologizing for that. It doesn't matter. It's all ok now. Look!" She motioned to where Sophie was now attempting to pick the lamb up.

Olivia smiled. "Sophie, I think the baby lamb would like it more if you hugged and pet it than picked it up." She looked back to Casey. "I know, but you just assumed you had to do it yourself. Just the way you said it. And how you still say 'if' with meaning... makes me feel like I'm still on the ropes, you know. It...really hurt and I'm trying to do better. I thought you could see that."

"I can. You are. I didn't mean it that way."

She was about to kiss her when Sophie gave a shriek. "Pig gone poo poo!"

Olivia looked to Casey. "Should we pull her out?"

"Depends on whether you remembered to pack spare clothes?"

She thought a moment. "We're good."

Casey pulled her closer again and rested her head on her shoulder.

"Did you want to go somewhere else too? I wasn't planning on spending the whole day here."

"I'm happy wherever we are." She dropped a kiss to Olivia's neck, giggling softly when Sophie exclaimed that she would go poo poo too.

"Imitate, but...you're taking that one."

"Nope. Your idea to bring her here. I'm just here to enjoy the ride. Your poopy nappy."

Olivia pulled a sour face, but sighed. "Sophie!"

* * *

A couple of hours later, they sat on a blanket in the sun eating the last of their lunch. Casey had her head resting on Olivia's knee and appeared to be asleep, while Sophie rested against her side sucking from a bottle.

Olivia ran her fingers through Casey's hair as she handed Sophie her pink bunny. "Here you go, sweetie."

She took it, giving her a sleepy smile.

Olivia lifted her into her lap. "Aww! Someone's sleepy, well, besides Mommy."

"I'm not asleep." Casey mumbled.

"What was that? Couldn't quite hear."

Casey mumbled again, this time her words moving into one another completely and making no sense, followed by a light snore.

She smiled, laying an arm across her and pulling her against her to rest.

As Casey and Sophie napped, Olivia rested against a large tree, enjoying the sunshine warming her, watching the other families in similar positions to her own, spread out across the field.

She just sat content in watching the two most important girls in her life sleep. She never thought this type of happiness would ever find her, not in the job she worked. But Casey had changed her perception on everything.

Casey was the first to wake, watching Olivia for a few minutes before stretching her arms up, waking Olivia from her thoughts as she pulled her head down for a kiss.

Olivia pulled her closer, deepening it. "Have a nice nap?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. Are you all right? You seem a little nervous."

"Just…a bad dream." She captured her lips again, her hands tangling in her hair.

Olivia quietly repositioned Sophie in her lap as she pulled Casey there as well, resting Sophie against them both, gently running her hand down her back. "What was it?"

Casey shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it. It doesn't matter. Just a dream."

Olivia saw the nervousness in her eyes, but decided not to push it. She hugged her tight, kissing her cheek. "Well, if you ever do..."

"Let's have another baby. _Soon_."

"H-how soon? I...I...yes, but you said you wanted to wait, but I'm for you changing your mind."

"We can go to the clinic tomorrow. You have the day off. We can talk to the doctor. They still have everything."

She sighed. "Okay, b-but tomorrow? God that's fast... Where will we leave Sophie? It'll be a bit odd if we take her with is for this. I'd like it to just be you and me."

"We can ask…the neighbor to take her, or the receptionist can look after her, or we can get one of Elliot's kids to babysit, it's school holidays."

Olivia kissed her softly. "Okay. Should we go home?"

"Let's stay for a little longer."

"And do what?"

Casey shrugged, her mind still focused on her dream, a room full of blood, Olivia looking at her accusingly.

Olivia stroked her cheek, wiping away the tears that had begun to fall. "Casey..."

"You'd just come back so I'd relax in your company again, and then…then you started saying horrible things, Liv."

She kissed her shoulder. "Like?"

"That it was my fault, that I'd been too angry with you to listen to the doctor and I'd put myself and my feelings before the baby…and I did, didn't I?"

"No, your argument, anger and sadness were completely logical. But..." she sighed, wrapping her arm tighter around her. "It wasn't your fault. You thought it was better, less painful, to get away and...I understand that. I'll never let it happen again."

Casey turned her head into Olivia, burying her face in her neck. "...I'd be showing by now. People would be asking if I knew if it was a boy or a girl…we'd be thinking of names..."

"Casey..." she rubbed her back."You did what you thought was best as a parent. We'll be like that again and people will ask..."

Casey nodded, drying her tears as Sophie began to wake up.

Olivia kissed her deeply.

Sophie yawned, then smiled up at Olivia. "Pig again?"

Olivia shook her head. "Sweetie, we need to go home."

She stuck her bottom lip out, giving the exact same look Casey did when she didn't get her way.

Casey smiled up at Olivia too, elbowing her gently.

Olivia sighed. "Okay, we'll go for a minute, but then we need to go."

It was another hour before they left, Sophie once more covered in dirt. Casey stripped her off and put her last spare t-shirt on her before tucking a blanket over her knees, but she still refused to take her gumboots off, and Casey groaned at the dirt that was already gathering on the floor.

Olivia sighed. "Do you want a bath when we get home?"

"Baff!" Sophie clapped her hands, and Casey dropped a kiss to Olivia's cheek as she climbed into her seat.

"She hates me bathing her. When we… she'd scream all the way through. When you do it she's always grinning. You must have special skills."

"Maybe. You could do a few things around the house. I could bathe her."

"I could make dinner. Your favorite. Or I could lie in bed in lacy lingerie."

"I...love the last option..."

"But it might distract you."

"From what?"

"Bathing your daughter." Casey leaned across and kissed her cheek once more.

Olivia smiled as they pulled up to the house."Our daughter."

"When she's dirty or poopy, she can just be yours."

"Gee, thanks," she said, dripping with sarcasm. "Will you carry her in? She just fell asleep."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, now what do you think will happen?

Review Thanks to: deadlockQ, Bkwrmchar, Ren Victoria & Kikilia14

Please R & R!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	7. Support

Saving What's Left

By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Ch. 7: Support**

They walked from the doctor's office, Olivia unsure of everything. She didn't delight of being on desk duty and wished Casey could carry again, but the doctor had said, because of Casey's miscarriage, it would be better if Olivia carried the baby. Though, with her job, she disagreed. She had to be on her feet, on the ground, ducking, jumping, at a moment's notice. She wasn't too sure about any of this.

Casey was quiet for a long time, agreeing with a small nod when Olivia suggested they go to a cafe before going home. After ordering, they sat in a quiet corner, and were half way through their coffee before Casey spoke, "it won't work."

"What?"

"You. A baby. It won't work. You'll go mad being on desk duty, and if you don't go on desk duty, all that violence...It's..."

She sighed, taking Casey's hands. "I agree on the desk duty part, but…there's no harm in trying, right?"

"I can do it Liv. I can...I'll lie in bed for the whole time if I have to. Please. I need to."

Olivia kissed her hands. "Need to?"

"If I can't show myself, show you that I can have a baby, Liv…I know it sounds stupid, but I'll feel...less me."

"Sweetie, you shouldn't have to prove anything to me."

"Well, I need to prove it to myself."

"But Sophie..."

"What about her?"

"...She's proof that you can."

"But she was…before." Casey squeezed Olivia's hand, looking at her pleadingly. "Wouldn't you prefer it? Like it was last time? I can't imagine you with morning sickness and a sore back and swollen ankles."

"...If it's really what you want..."

"It is, I promise. I'll do anything you want me to, anything the doctor tells me. I'll even wear those horrible maternity bras if he wants me to. He said he recommends you carry it, but he said I could if i had your support and I took it easy and I do, don't I?"

Olivia smiled. "Of course you do. Though it's going to be a challenge..."

"We can deal with challenges, can't we?"

She nodded, squeezing her hand before taking a drink of coffee. "If you think you can, I'll be there all the way," Olivia said.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, now what do you think will happen?

Review Thanks to: Bkwrmchar & Kikilia14

Please R & R!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	8. Uncivilized

**WARNING: This chapter contains mature content.**

Saving What's Left

By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 8: Uncivilized**

Olivia barely managed to pull herself away from Casey. They'd had the procedure done about a month ago, Casey promising she would be careful, but the doctor had said she just had to be careful not to fall or trip, and rest as much as possible, but that wasn't any different than when she'd been pregnant with Sophie. Still though, the doctor had warned them against it.

They were at the park, having a picnic with Sophie, and she'd been trying to get Casey to go on the swings with her, but after several refusals, and finally cross words, Sophie was now crying in Olivia's arms and Casey was sitting with her knees pulled to her chest, looking guilty.

"Casey, I'm sure you'd be fine. It's not fair to Sophie."

"You go."

Olivia stood with Sophie in her arms, helping Casey to her feet. "At least come sit?"

Casey shook her head, aware of the eyes on them from other families in the area. She mumbled that she was going to get a drink and walked away.

Olivia went after her. "Casey... you can't...what's the point of...I know you're scared. But I'll be here. I'll help you."

"I'm going to get a drink, Liv, okay? Go and...play with Sophie." She pulled her cardigan tighter around herself and increased her pace.

Olivia sighed, walking over and sitting her in the child seat, pushing her gently while keeping an eye on Casey. "Hang on!" she told Sophie.

She held on, and was soon smiling, her tears forgotten. "More!"

She pushed her a little higher.

Casey paid for a drink and turned, almost walking straight into a cyclist who swerved, falling from his bike onto the grass. Casey's drink fell to the ground and her hand went immediately to her stomach.

Olivia looked over, watching with concern, but Casey didn't seem to be hurt, only shaken, so she pushed Sophie a little higher.

Casey got several sharp words from the cyclist, but instead of arguing that he should have been watching where he was going like she usually would have, she just gave a meek nod, then looked down at her drink on the ground. She bent to pick it up and wiped several tears from her face as she walked to drop it in the bin.

"Flying!" Sophie exclaimed.

Olivia smiled. "Yeah, you are! Here, I think Mama would like it if we got her a new drink," she said, slowing the swing to a stop and taking her out before walking over to her. "What were you drinking?" she asked, handing Sophie to her, "I'll get you another."

Casey gave a shrug, putting Sophie down as she wriggled in her arms and raced back to Olivia.

Olivia walked up, asking what Casey had previously had. He gave her another and she paid, as well as getting Sophie a juice, and walking back over to Casey. "Here."

She took it, mumbling her thanks.

Sophie tugged on Olivia's pants and whispered loudly. "Mummy needs hug."

Olivia nodded. Pulling Casey to her, she felt her tremble, stroking her hair, she kissed her cheek. "Maybe we should go."

Sophie hugged one of each of their legs as Casey shook her head, turning to hide her face in Olivia's neck.

"Case... We don't have to stay. Is there something you want to do?"

After a few moments of silence, Casey pulled away and took a deep, steadying breath before smiling down at Sophie. "How about we go and feed the ducks?"

Olivia smiled. "Sounds great to me."

As they walked, Casey held tightly to Olivia's hand, letting Sophie ran off a little way ahead of them.

Olivia stopped her a few paces behind. "Casey, you can't avoid your life to make sure it's going to be okay. Being scared makes sense, but I'll have to go to work and Sophie will need you. I need you."

"…Can't we talk about this another time?" Casey saw another bike coming and stepped closer to Olivia.

Olivia nodded, going to the side and pulling her close. "Yes, but I'll be here no matter what, okay?"

Casey nodded, attempting a smile. "I know."

She kissed her cheek. "Maybe it'll work. You won't be under as much stress."

She knew instantly by the change in Casey's face that she'd said the wrong thing. Casey stiffened and stepped away, almost colliding with another cyclist. "Maybe? Thanks, Liv." She turned and walked after Sophie.

Sighing, she walked after her. "I said that because we don't know. But I'll do everything possible. Look, I'm sorry! I messed up."

"Sure, whatever." She picked up Sophie and handed her the bag of bread they'd brought, taking her closer to the water and holding her up to stand on the fence.

Olivia stood next to them, taking a few slices, tearing it up and tossing it to the ducks. When she had no more, she walked over and rested against a tree, watching intently.

Sophie glanced back to make sure she was still around, waving to her and then popping a piece of the bread in her mouth, giving a cheeky grin.

Olivia smiled, waving back at her, but sensed Casey didn't want to be near her right now so she stayed where she was.

A woman with several children moved to stop next to Casey, chatting to her as she fed her baby and her other children fed the ducks with Sophie.

Olivia walked up, standing beside her. "Hello."

She turned to give Olivia a half smile before turning back to Casey, assuming Olivia was not a mother and therefore not worthy of her conversation. "Anyway, my Charlie just does not stop eating! He's up all night. First week, he was fine, but now my husband has to sleep in the spare room or he'd never get to work."

Olivia smiled. "Sophie was like that for a while too. It's a phase."

She turned once more to look at Olivia, giving her a tight smile. "And where is 'Sophie'?" She leant towards Casey, mumbling under her breath. "Get all sorts wanting to talk about kids. I say 'if you don't see a kid with them, they haven't got one.' "

Olivia wrapped her arm around Casey, resting it on her belly, giving the woman a tight smile as well. "Actually...Sophie's _our_ daughter."

She blushed, looking at Sophie who, out of bread, having eaten most of it herself, rested against Casey and reached a hand back to touch Olivia's cheek gently, watching her curiously. "Well…well...that's...children should have a mother and a father."

Olivia took a breath, used to this conversation. "As long as the child is loved and cared for, what problem is there?" she asked, her arm tightening around Casey.

To her surprise Casey, who usually was the calm one in these situations, instead stiffened in her arms and removed herself and Sophie from her grip. "We're going home."

The woman looked smug.

Olivia stayed where she was, just as smug. "Do you enjoy your ignorance?" she asked, gesturing for Sophie to go to Casey. "You're free to have your own opinions, but please don't intimidate my wife," she said, standing and walking away.

Casey didn't speak to her, or even look in her direction as they walked home.

* * *

When they got there, she put Sophie down for a nap then sat on the couch, hugging her knees once more.

Olivia sat in the chair next to her. "I said I was sorry. What else is there to say?"

"Maybe she's right."

"She's not. As long as the kids are loved and cared for, nothing is wrong. It's just someone's perception."

"Maybe that's why it happened. Maybe I'm with the wrong person. Maybe its punishment..."

Olivia shook her head, moving to sit next to her. "It's not why it happened! I stressed you out! I made it happen! Now I'm back and things are going better and..." she sighed. "Fine! Do this on your own! Forget about me! But I'll never forget about... damn it, Casey! I'm making an actual effort to repair things and now you-you don't think I'm worth it?"

Tears started to flow down her pale cheeks. "People said something bad would happen. My dad said...and now even you said maybe..."

Olivia grabbed her hands. "No, baby, no! I...I was, I didn't mean. It's risky. That's what I meant. But I love you and I'm in this with you." She sighed again. "I was wrong to say that. I want you with me! I want... I love you!" she leaned in, kissing her gently, praying Casey didn't pull away.

Casey gave a soft sob, but didn't pull away, instead moving closer and burying her face in Olivia's shirt.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, kissing her head. "It's terrifying and...I don't want to lose you. Please? I love you."

Casey shook her head, nestling further into Olivia.

"Shhh. Everyone has their own opinions. We'll never all agree, but I'm trying. Can't you see that? I need you with me. I thought I...you're important to me, you and Sophie. I can't bear it if you leave again. Please promise me you won't? I'll do anything. I just love you so much."

Casey shook her head again, trying to tell Olivia she wasn't going to, trying to apologize, but she couldn't get any words out, a lump in her throat. Instead her hands tightened their grip on her shirt.

Olivia kissed he head again. "It's going to be okay. You, me, Sophie and this baby, we'll be fine. We'll live. We'll love. Just like we always have."

Casey nodded, finally managing to get words out in a squeaking voice, thick with emotion. "I couldn't go again. Ever. You've proved to me...everything you needed to. I'm just scared."

Olivia nodded, rubbing her back. "We'll be fine. I'm scared too."

They sat there a long time, finding silent comfort in each other, Casey planting the occasional gentle kiss to Olivia's neck. When they began to hear Sophie moving, Casey finally lifted her head, giving a relaxed smile. "I love you, Olivia Benson."

Olivia smiled too. "I love you too, Casey Novak."

"Casey _Benson_." Casey smiled, rubbing her nose against Olivia's gently.

Olivia smiled again, moving to lay her back against the couch. "_My_ Casey Benson," she rested her head against her stomach. "Love you..." she moved up to kiss her neck."Very, very much," she purred into her neck.

"Enough to go out and get Indian for dinner?" Casey's eyes sparkled. She hated Indian food usually, but always seemed to crave the spice when she was pregnant.

She pursed her lips. "Maybe...later can..."

"But I kinda have a craving for it now? Like...right now?" her hands slid onto Olivia's stomach, hoping she'd get the hint that she was feeling different, just like she had even before they'd found out about Sophie.

Olivia smiled. "Alright. I'll go. But I just...can't stop thinking..." she stood up. "I should go get that now..."

"The doctor did say nothing for at least a month, Liv. You might just have to remind yourself how amazing your own hands are." She stood up, moving next to her to whisper in her ear. "Get a test."

She nodded, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her. "Of course, so does that mean you won't help me either? I don't mind. I'd just like to know."

"I'll watch." She left that hanging in the air as she left the room.

Olivia grinned widely as she walked out.

* * *

That evening, Sophie seemed a lot happier as the atmosphere was more relaxed. Casey ate everything Olivia brought for her, including swiping some from Olivia's plate when she wasn't paying attention.

"Hey!" Olivia said with a fake pout. "That was mine!"

Casey returned the pout, then moved to sit on Olivia's knee, kissing her and distracting her with loving words as she moved more to her plate, making Sophie giggle.

Olivia sighed. "Food stealer!" she said playfully, nuzzling her neck.

Casey filled the fork and moved it to Olivia's mouth, kissing some sauce from her lips. "There. See, that's sharing. Now some for me." She filled the fork with as much as she could, opening her mouth.

Olivia took the fork, attempting to eat, but Casey glared at her. "Fine," she popped it into her mouth. "Better?"

She nodded.

Sophie clapped. "Sophie too!"

Olivia cut a piece of meat into four pieces and fed her. "Good?"

About 10 minutes later, Casey slipped something into Olivia's hand before sitting on her knee again, giving Sophie something else and laughing at her strained expression.

Olivia looked at her confused.

Casey lowered her eyes to Olivia's hand pointedly before returning to feeding Sophie. In her hand, she'd placed a pregnancy test. A positive one.

Olivia smiled, pulling Casey into her lap, kissing her gently, laughing. "I love you."

* * *

Casey showered as Olivia made sure the house was secure. a towel around her, she walked into the bedroom.

Olivia walked in moments later, closing the door behind her. "Hey Beautiful."

Casey dropped the towel as she reached for a long t-shirt. "Looking in the mirror again?"

"Yeah, and I'm thinking... I so wish I could jump you right now, but...I can't."

She pulled the t-shirt on and turned to her, linking her fingers with Olivia's and bringing them up to her lips. "But you have the most amazing hands in the world. You should use them."

"It's not the same, Case. It'll...take so much longer."

Casey dropped a gentle kiss to her lips. "I could…dance for you?"

Olivia sat on the bed, after discarding her clothes. "Proceed."

She turned on some music, dancing slowly, letting her hands occasionally lift up her top a little to give a hint of what was underneath, her eyes closing.

She began to fidget. "Look at me."

Her eyes opened a little, looking at Olivia from under hooded lids, her hands pulling up her top a little more to flash the fact she wasn't wearing underwear.

She swallowed hard, moaning a bit, a gentle fire igniting in her groin.

Casey continued to dance, humming softly to the music.

"So...beautiful," she sighed. "More. I need you."

Casey slid the top over her head, pretending to get tangled.

She smiled wider, her fingers, unconsciously, rolled her nipples a bit as a moan escaped. "..Casey..."

Casey's hand slid up to touch her own breast, the shirt falling to the floor as she moaned gently.

She moaned, her hands gripping her breasts as she felt the fire intensify.

Casey's hand slid slowly down her stomach, stopping between her legs, breathing Olivia's name.

She bit her lip, jumping as she watched her, her own hands sliding to the same spot. "Yes...Casey?"

Casey repeated her name louder, her legs trembling, her eyes closing again.

Her eyes still on her, Olivia noticed her tremble. "Careful, come sit."

Casey shook her head, biting her lip, before saying quietly, "Did I mention today is exactly one month and one day since our appointment?" Her eyes flickered open.

She shook her head. "B-but y-y-you said n-no..."

A smile crept onto Casey's face. "Did I? I thought I just said dinner first."

"You said we couldn't...the doctor...a month..." she moaned, taking in Casey's full sight.

"It's been a month and a day, but if you don't want to..." Her hands continued to move, a soft moan escaping once more.

Olivia moved quickly to stand behind her, backing against the wall and kissing her neck. "Yes...please..."

Casey's hand moved behind Olivia's head, turning her head to moan into her ear as Olivia's hand replaced hers, her hips moving and making her body rub against Olivia.

Olivia moaned, her hand rubbing between Casey's legs slowly. "..Casey..." she moaned. Her breath hitched as her nerve bundle made protruded from her wetness from Casey moving against her. "Fu...ck..."

Casey continued to move, getting louder, releasing all the tension of the past month.

Olivia kissed her lips, hard, entering her fingers up into Casey, moving steadily.

Casey slid a hand between them, increasing the pressure on Olivia as her own legs gave out and Olivia held her up.

Olivia pulled her fingers out, turning Casey around, before she sucked on her fingers before holding her up. "Casey..."

Casey's eyes were level with hers for only a moment before she sunk to her knees in front of Olivia, kissing away the moisture on Olivia's thighs.

Olivia moaned widening her stance, placing her hands on her shoulders. "..Please?"

Casey looked up at her for a moment, before moving forward...

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, now what do you think will happen?

Review Thanks to: Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14 & SoLetsPlayDoctorBabe

Please R & R!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	9. Meaning

Saving What's Left

By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 9: Meaning**

Olivia walked into work that morning tired, but emotionally feeling better than she'd felt in a few months. Casey was two months along without any mishaps. But, unfortunately, was even sicker this go around than she had been with Sophie. The doctor had warned of that, but they didn't think it would be this bad.

Casey could hardly move from the bathroom floor last night. Olivia had offered, numerous times, to drive her to the hospital or even call Melinda, but Casey had refused either, saying as long as Olivia would stay she would be fine. She yawned, wondering if she'd even gotten an hour's rest.

Elliot glanced up, already working. "Got a message from your missus for you."

"Yeah, and?"

"She said can you go round at lunch time, something needs clearing up. I didn't ask what."

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I think I know. She was so sick last night. Never even left the bathroom floor."

Elliot crinkled his nose. "I've had my fair share of that with all my kids. Enjoy."

"Trust me. After what happened, even Casey is happy with being sick."

"Deep down probably, but I bet you're still getting it in the neck like I did."

She nodded. "And it sucks."

"Well just think, in another 7 months, she'll break one or both of your hands while in labor, then you'll have a tiny little thing vomiting everywhere and crying to get your attention."

"You say it like it's a bad thing. The broken hand yeah, but... Anyway, what's come up?"

"Paperwork."

* * *

At lunch time, Olivia made her way slowly home, trying not to think of what might await her, but when she pushed open the door, she found Casey and Sophie sleeping peacefully on the couch and a delicious smelling lunch spread across the table.

She walked over, kissing them on the cheek before kissing Casey's lips gently.

Her eyes opened slowly, still red rimmed from the night before, but she gave a sleepy smile. "Made you lunch."

She smiled, taking Sophie from her. "And it looks wonderful. Would you like to join me? I'll go put Sophie in her cot."

Casey shook her head. "Can't keep anything down. But it's your favorite."

"Not even dry toast or bread? Case, you have to eat something, or drink something."

"I had some toast earlier, Dr. Benson, and I've had some juice and water."

She smiled, caressing her cheek and kissing her again before she stood and went to put Sophie in her cot. She walked back out, sitting down and curling up against her. "I love you."

Casey curled against her and pulled one of her hand to rest on her middle before smiling up at her. "Love you more."

"I bet it'll look just like you."

"I want one who looks like you. With those eyes. That nose..." Each feature she mentioned, she kissed.

Olivia smiled wider, pulling Casey into her arms. "Well, I don't care what anybody says. I love you and that's that. So much."

Casey nodded, then struggled against her for a moment before rushing for the bathroom.

Olivia followed, wetting a rag and holding her hair back.

After she'd been sick, she rested against Olivia with a moan. "I bet it's going to look like you. All sweetness and kisses one minute, then making me sick the next."

"When have I ever made you sick?" she asked, handing her the rag.

"On our first date, you told me the seafood was really good and I got food poisoning."

"Once."

"And you got me drunk countless times to get into my pants."

"Not like it didn't work...sometimes."

Casey smiled, nuzzling Olivia's neck for a moment before letting her help her up onto shaky legs. "You go and have your lunch. I'll be out in a minute."

Olivia held her close for a moment, kissing her shoulder before walking out and sitting at the table.

Sitting on the edge of the bath, Casey brushed her teeth and took several deep breathes before walking out and wrapping her arms around Olivia's neck. "Nice?"

"Perfect, like you. Are you going to sit with me?"

"Depends. How long until you have to go back to work?"

"About 30 minutes. Why?"

Casey groaned and rested her head on Olivia's for a moment before standing. "I need to get Sophie ready. We have that...toddler's thing today."

Olivia wrapped her arms around her. "What thing? Remind me again."

"It's written in the diary on the kitchen bench that we both promised to read so we know what the other is doing, OH-livia."

"You okay?"

"Just reminding you how I'm not going to say your name in bed if you don't stick to your promise and read it every morning."

She stood, grabbing the sandwich and walking over. "Oh, the play date thing! Okay. You know, we really should get a calendar to write this stuff on."

"That's what I said, but you said you hated calendars. Said they were too formal." Casey poked out her tongue.

Olivia took another bite. "Yeah, but maybe for these things, like a dry erase one."

"You just want to draw funny pictures on it, don't you?"

She smiled. "Maaaaaaaaybe."

Casey smiled at her before grabbing Sophie's backpack.

Olivia walked up behind her, wrapping her arms around her. "I'll miss you."

"Bet you won't even think of me while you and Elliot play pretend cops and robbers."

"Pretend? Well, I could cuff you to the bed tonight and be real."

Casey stopped and turned to look at her, her eyes twinkling. "Dare you to try, Benson."

"Oh, I'll intend to do more than try, _Benson_," she smiled at her, copping a slight feel.

A second later, Casey had her pinned up against the wall, unable to use her arms. "Did I mention my wife taught me some self defense moves?"

She cocked a brow. "She did? Then I guess I should be careful, huh?"

Before Casey could reply, Sophie spoke sleepily, "Mommy being naughty 'gain?"

Olivia chuckled. "Yeah, Mommy. Are you naughty?"

"I think you'll find she meant you, Detective." Casey smirked and let her go, looking towards Sophie who was standing, hands on hips with an attempt at a frown at Olivia, knowing it was a cross face.

She smiled. "So, does that mean you're not? Not up to the session I just planned in my head tonight?"

"You'll have to wait and see, won't you? Now, if you don't mind tending to your daughter before going back to work, I'll finish packing her bag."

Olivia walked in, dressing her and putting a jacket on her.

"Are you coming? They has sammiches!"

Olivia shook her head. "No, Mommy has to go back to work, sweetie."

"Want you to come!" She held tightly to her.

"Yes, but I can't. Mama will be there though."

"I want YOU!" She wriggled, kicking her feet.

"Aw! I know you do! I know, but I have to go keep Uncle Elliot in line."

Her crying got louder, making Casey return to the room with a groan. "You better go."

Olivia handed Sophie to her. "Do I get a kissie?"

Sophie smacked Olivia's cheek instead.

Olivia held her hand. "Hey, no hitting!" She looked at Casey sympathetically, kissing her before walking out the door holding her cheek.

She could hear Sophie's yelling until she left the building, and received several messages from Casey during the afternoon, telling her how much she hated her, but always ended the messages with a kiss. The final message said, "I'm going out to get drunk. Follow the bad karaoke singing when you finish and you'll find me."

"What the hell did I do? And you can't take the kid drinking," she text.

"I won't. I'll lock her in a cupboard with a bar of chocolate or something."

"You can't lock up the other. Please don't, Case. What the hell did I do?"

There was a several minute wait before she received a reply, but just as she was about to call her, her phone beeped, and she opened a short video, showing that Sophie was still screaming, her voice hoarse from hours of having tantrums, then the camera went to Casey, who showed a small red footprint from a kick on the side of her stomach before moving the camera back to her face. She raised her eyebrow, then the video ended.

"..Uh-oh. I, uh, should probably get going, NOW."

"Cragen said we need to finish our paperwork before we go."

She played the video again, showing him. "I don't think I've got that kind of time now."

He groaned. "Welcome to the terrible two's, my friend. I'll do your paperwork, you get home."

"Thanks, I'll pay you back!" And she ran out the door.

Olivia could hear Sophie as she made her way up the stairs to their apartment. "NO! Not gonna have a bath!"

Olivia rushed into the bathroom. "Ca-Casey?"

Casey was wetter than Sophie who was standing in the middle of the room naked. Casey was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall looking exhausted.

Olivia sighed. "What's going on?"

"Don't want to have a bath!"

Casey just sighed as Sophie roared out the words.

"Why not?" Olivia asked.

"Hate it!"

"Even if I got in with you?"

She folded her arms and stared at her before holding up her arms to be put in

Olivia lifted her up and in, quickly stripping to nothing and sitting behind her. "There. Better?"

"...Not washing my hair." Casey had fallen half asleep against the wall.

She put her wet hands and put them on her head. "Okay, here," she handed her a doll.

She went to argue, but instead took it and played with it, splashing Casey and waking her up with a start.

"Easy, Casey, easy."

She rubbed her face and sighed as Sophie stopped what she was doing, ready to yell again. She stood and silently left the room.

Olivia sighed. "Why were you doing that to Mama? I think you really hurt her."

"I want you to stay home with me."

"I know, but...I can't. I have to work so we have money to eat. But I'll always be back. Come on, let's get out," she grabbed her around the waist, getting to her knees and stepping out and handing her a towel. "Be careful."

She discarded the towel on the floor, stomping from the bathroom and leaving drips in her wake.

Olivia sighed dragging it along with her feet to wipe up the drops and walking out, a towel around her waist as she walked into their bedroom. "Casey?"

"I'm pretending I'm drunk, go away."

"So...you're going to be that way too huh?" she asked as she threw on some pajamas.

"Is it too late for adoption?"

She turned back. "Why?"

Casey sighed, then held out her arms to Olivia, sticking out her bottom lip. "I'm only joking. Kiss?"

Olivia moved into her arms, kissing her. "So what happened?" she asked.

Casey pulled up her top a little, revealing the red mark again. "Kiss there too?"

Olivia moved down to kiss the mark, rubbing it gently. "Are you okay? You two?"

Casey nodded, running her hand through Olivia's hair and holding her to her. "She screamed for ages after you left...then she finally calmed down after I told her if she kept it up you wouldn't come home for lunch anymore. By the time we got there though, she was tired from all the screaming and got angry again, slapped a little boy and kicked him in the shins so I had to bring her home. I've tried to get her to go to sleep, but she won't. She just kept screaming for you."

"That's...terrible. I wish I could've stayed. Is the little boy okay?"

"His mom just said see what happens when there's no man around." Casey sighed, turning her head to look at the doorway where Sophie stood with her nightie stuck over her head.

Olivia sighed. "I don't believe that. Do you? All a guy would do is smack her and I think that's a little harsh. But if it...needs to be done..." She walked over and pulled Sophie's nightgown down. "There." She walked her over to the bed. "You shouldn't hurt Mama or me."

She climbed onto the bed, lying on top of Casey and wrapping her arms around her middle, closing her eyes.

Olivia, suddenly even more protective, went to pull her away.

Casey's hand flew up, catching Olivia's, and holding it still for a moment before they heard Sophie quietly apologize.

Olivia nodded. "You still shouldn't do it. Now, can I put you to bed?"

She shook her head, then lifted her head a little. "Sleep here?"

"Casey?"

Casey sighed, then, thinking about the next day, gave a nod.

Olivia turned on the lamp, getting up to turn off the main light before lying down.

Casey lifted a hand, stroking her cheek. "You haven't had dinner."

"Don't worry. I'll be fine."

"You can use the handcuffs tomorrow, promise." Casey smiled at her, pulling her close to kiss her, then rested Sophie between them, the toddler already fast asleep.

Olivia smiled. "You might regret saying that."

Casey kissed her again before standing to change.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, now what do you think will happen?

Review Thanks to: Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14 & tummer22

Please R & R!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	10. Trying to Forget

Saving What's Left

By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 10: Trying to Forget**

Two months later and things weren't much better. Casey still had morning sickness, and Sophie was still having tantrums, although none had been as long or as bad as her first one. Olivia tried to give Casey time off, taking Sophie out for the day on her days off so she could sleep, but now it was heading into winter and raining almost every day.

One Friday, Olivia was sitting in a car with Elliot, watching a house when her mobile gave a ring, showing Fin's number.

She answered. "Yeah?"

There was screaming into the phone for several seconds before there was a door slamming. "Jesus, Liv, what do you feed her? Novak walked in with Sophie half an hour ago, put her in your chair and walked out again. Didn't say anything."

She sighed. "Oh great! Nothing out of the ordinary. How bad is she?"

"Novak or Sophie? Because Novak looked pretty bad and Sophie is making me deaf."

"Both?"

"Sophie is screaming the precinct down and asking for you. Novak looked like she'd been crying and was walking with a limp."

"Limp? H-how bad?"

"Like she got kicked in the leg with a steel-toed shoe."

She sighed. "Okay, I'll be back as soon as I can." She hung up the phone, turning to Elliot. "When this is over, I need a favor."

"As long as it doesn't involve a screaming child. I've got enough of my own."

"Yeah, know how that is. Casey dropped Sophie off, who's in a fit. Fin said Casey was limping pretty bad. I'll deal with Sophie if you'll go check on her."

"Oh god. I don't know which is worse, a toddler or a pregnant woman. How about I take Sophie home to Kathy for the night and you go find Casey?"

"You sure? She's...violent. And only wants me apparently."

"She's 2. We can handle her we've done it 5 times already."

She nodded, sending Casey a text, "Are you home?"

She received no reply, and by the time they got to the station, despite several messages and calls, still hadn't heard anything from her. Sophie was now sitting quietly on Munch's lap, drawing.

Olivia looked back to Elliot. "If she sees me, it'll only make it worse, so..."

He nodded, waving her away.

Olivia drove to the house, and walked into the apartment. "Casey?!"

There was no reply. Her phone was lying on the couch, flashing from all the messages.

She found no one in the bathroom, so she walked back to their bedroom.

There was no response from anywhere in the empty house, but Olivia's phone gave a beep.

She pulled it from her pocket, opening it.

The message was from one of Casey's friend that Olivia could barely remember. "Just wondering if you're coming out with us? We're about to move on to another place."

"Where are you? Is Casey with you?"

"Yeah, I thought you knew? Maybe I shouldn't have messaged you. We're at The Red."

"No, it's fine. I'm on my way now." And she made her way downtown.

* * *

When she walked into the club, her eyes were immediately drawn to a woman with her back to the door, tight dress and high heels, and she cursed herself for being unable to keep her eyes away, guilt filling her, but as the woman turned, she saw the glint of red in the hair, the small roundness of the stomach, and realized it was Casey, dancing with someone else.

Olivia walked up, standing behind her. "Casey?"

The person she was dancing with saw the look on her face and immediately backed away, but Casey didn't acknowledge her.

Olivia put a hand on her shoulder. "Casey!"

She finally turned to her, her eyes sparking angrily. "What?"

"What are you doing? You drop her off - without me there - then ditch your phone so I can't get a hold of you. Someone said you were limping so I was texting and calling to check up on you. You're free to go out and do as you please. I just wish you would've told me."

"I did. I've told you. I wrote it on the white board thing. I wrote it in your work diary. I put it in your phone. Now if you don't mind, I was dancing with someone."

Olivia sighed. "Fine have fun. Guess I'll just have a night alone since Elliot agreed that he and Kathy would watch her because I was worried about you. But...whatever. Hopefully, I'll see you when you get home."

"I'm not coming home."

"Why? Found someone else to hold your hair?"

"No, I'm tired and I'm sore and I'm sick of trying to be good enough when I'm obviously a shit mother." She limped off towards the bar, gesturing for another of what she'd just finished.

Olivia grabbed her arm, helping her over to the bar. "Two please. Casey, who told you that? You're a wonderful mother."

"No one needs to tell me, Olivia. Isn't it obvious? I get half murdered by a two year old every day who hates my guts." She took the drink the bar tender held out and walked towards the table where her friends sat.

Olivia took her arm. "Casey, it's not true! Every kid goes through that stage. Please, don't do this. She loves you. I love you. I need you with me."

Casey pulled her arm away, tears shining in her eyes, wanting Olivia to wrap her arms around her. "I can't do it. There's no point."

Olivia, upon seeing the look in her eyes, wrapped her arms around her. "Yes there is. We love you and so will this baby. I love you. Please..."

Casey cried quietly into Olivia's shirt. "I'm so tired."

"Come home with me. Elliot and Kathy have Sophie for the night. I'll make it okay. I love you."

Casey weakly shook her head.

"I'll pick you up and carry you out if I have to. Please...?"

She followed her meekly from the club, keeping her face hidden.

Olivia helped her into the car, going around to the driver's side. "I'm...sorry."

"I can't e-even get drunk to forget everything." She sobbed into her sleeve.

"Forget what, sweetie?" she asked, resting a hand on her leg.

"That my child hates me, that I can't keep anything down, take your pick."

Olivia shook her head. "It's just the Terrible Twos. It'll pass."

"No, it won't."

"Yes it will. I know it will. Just...can you let me help you tonight?"

Casey was in tears the whole way home.

Olivia stopped outside the apartment complex, then pulled Casey to her. "Casey..."

Casey just clung to her shirt, hiding her face in Olivia's neck. It was normally easy to stop Casey crying, but everything she said just seemed to make the tears fall harder.

Olivia rubbed her back. "I love you," she repeated over and over. "I'm never going away..."

Casey sobbed again, holding tighter to her shirt. "You're so nice to me and I was horrible and I just left her at your work and I didn't take my phone."

"She's fine. Don't worry. She'll be okay for a night. Should we go inside? I can wrap us in that blanket..."

Casey nodded, allowing Olivia to look after her.

* * *

Olivia led her inside to the couch before draping the blanket around herself and sitting next to her. "Come here, Benson," she said with a gentle smile.

Casey curled up to her, her tears finally stopping.

"It's going to be okay," she said, hugging her and rubbing her belly. "I love you."

She nodded, lifting a hand to wipe her face, then using Olivia's sleeve, leaving a smear of makeup on it before giving her a small smile.

"You're so...pretty and beautiful. My Girl."

Her smile widened a little, her face streaked with makeup.

Olivia smiled, kissing her gently, caressing her cheek.

"Can we have a bath? Like we used to?"

Olivia nodded. "Really?"

Casey nodded.

Olivia stood with her as they walked into the bathroom. "Do you...want me to...help you out of your clothes?"

Casey nodded meekly again.

Olivia unzipped the dress, gliding it from her shoulders, kissing along the way until it hit the floor. Then she bent down and started the water. "Are you okay?"

She wrapped her arms around herself, nodding. Her body was covered in small bruises from pinches and kicks.

"..Casey... I'm...I'm..." she could still see the marks that couldn't be covered. Gently, her fingers caressed them. "Come here."

Casey took a hesitant step towards her.

Olivia stripped herself of her clothes before holding her close. "It's okay."

After a few moments, she uncrossed her arms and allowed Olivia to hold her properly. They were silent as Olivia slipped into the bath, then pulled Casey in front of her.

Olivia turned off the water, holding her gently. "Love you."

"I love you too," her voice broke.

"Baby, shh, it's okay, lay back, lay back. I've got you."

Casey rested against her, closing her eyes.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her, resting one on her stomach. "The water feels warm, but you're warmer."

Casey relaxed a little more, her hand resting on Olivia's, the other on her leg.

She sighed. "Your hand..."

Casey tensed again, removing it, mumbling an apology.

"No," she whined, "please. Put it back."

She hesitated before resting it once more on Olivia's thigh.

"Mmm, warm. More please..."

Casey relaxed again, turning her head a little so Olivia could feel her warm breath on her neck and she caressed her thigh, locking their fingers together on the hands that rested on her stomach.

Olivia planted light kisses on her neck, sighing.

They sat in there for a long time, until the water had gone cold and Casey hadn't moved for several minutes, her breathing evened out.

Olivia sat forward, letting the water out and grabbing a towel and somehow wrapping it around Casey. "Casey," she whispered. "Casey."

Casey was fast asleep, letting out a soft snore.

"Okay, then," somehow she maneuvered herself from the tub and lifting Casey up, carrying her into their bedroom, laying her in bed before drying herself off and slipping into bed.

* * *

Casey slept soundly through the night, not even waking early the next morning when Elliot called Olivia, sounding sleepy, someone screaming in the background. "Sophie has a fever. I'd check Casey as well. Kathy was always picking things up when she was pregnant. You'll have to come and get her though, can't afford 5 sick kids, Liv."

Olivia nodded, feeling Casey did have a slight fever. "Okay, I'll be over soon." She hung up the phone, walking into the bathroom and wetting a cold cloth and laying it on Casey's forehead before getting dressed.

At Elliot's house, Sophie was half asleep, her face pale with red blotches from crying.

Olivia knocked on the door.

Kathy opened the door looking stressed out, giving Olivia a half smile before pulling her into the room, pushing her towards the couch where Sophie was lying before returning to her own sick child. Elliot was trying to amuse her with a toy as he got ready for work.

Olivia lifted her into her arms, cuddling her close. "She is warm." She looked to Elliot. "You don't have anything for her fever do you?"

"Nothing for anyone her age, sorry. They have some good stuff at the pharmacy down the road…something in a little red bottle. Taste's ok. I've got to go. Covering for someone, everyone's coming down with whatever it is she has."

"Well, I'll try to be in soon. Thanks guys. Come on, sweetie. Let's go home."

Sophie cuddled to Olivia, whimpering quietly.

"Shh, it's okay. It's going to be okay," she covered her in her jacket.

Before she got home, she stopped at the pharmacy, getting a fever reducer and antibiotics for her as well as Casey.

Casey was awake when she got home, sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket again.

Olivia walked over, Sophie in one arm and meds in a bag in the other. "You're both sick. Elliot's covering for someone, so we're short-handed. There's antibiotics and fever reducer for both of you in the bag."

"You're going into work?" Casey reached out to cling to the bottom of Olivia's top, not looking at Sophie.

Olivia held Sophie in one arm, Casey in the other. "Casey..."

"You're supposed to have the next 3 days off." Her tears threatened to spill again.

Sophie turned in Olivia's arms, holding her hands out to Casey.

Olivia nodded. "Can I call in to see how bad they need me? I'll just say I'm unavailable unless absolute. Here," she handed Sophie to her. "Apparently, whatever you two have is going around the city." She pulled out her phone, dialing Cragen. "Captain? How short-handed are you? Casey and Sophie are both sick, so unless you really need me, I need to stay here."

He sighed, looking around the buzzing office. "We really need you, Liv. A case has just come in, and we have two others on the go. But if you really can't..."

Sophie snuggled into Casey, getting the true comfort one can only find with one's mother, but Casey still looking hesitant, her hands hovering over Sophie's back.

"I...I can't." She sighed. "What about a half day?"

"…Could you work from home? I can get a uniform to bring over a laptop and some other things for you?"

"That could work. So what, webcam?"

"Probably just checking out CCTV, things like that."

"Okay, perfect. Thanks."

As Cragen hung up, Casey finally put her hands on Sophie's back, and she lifted her head, smiling around her pacifier.

Olivia hung up the phone. "I'm not going in. They'll bring it to me. CCTV mostly."

She nodded, looking down at Sophie as her small hand gently touched her cheek.

"It's going to be okay." She kissed Casey's cheek.

Casey looked up at her for a long time before nodding, then accepting the bag from the pharmacy.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, now what do you think will happen?

Review Thanks to: Kikilia14 & tummer22

Please R & R!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


	11. Payback

**WARNING: This chapter contains adult/mature content.**

Saving What's Left

By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles

**Chapter 11: Payback**

Casey and Sophie were sick for the next week, which was how long Olivia ended up working from home. Their fevers would be calm during the day then fluctuate rapidly at night so the three had been in the same bed with Olivia in the middle. Sophie was cranky throughout the entire week. Casey's hormones were much higher when she was sick. She kissed Casey's head, feeling she was cooler.

Casey sighed.

Olivia sat up, taking Sophie into the nursery to change her.

Casey woke when Olivia's warmth disappeared and stretched in the bed. A few moments later, she swung her legs over the side and stood up, waiting for her head to stop spinning before she walked from the room to the kitchen, her stomach grumbling.

Olivia gave Sophie her medicine and laid the still sleepy child in her cot after she'd drifted back to sleep from Olivia rocking her a bit. She walked out into the kitchen. "How are you feeling?"

Casey bit into her hastily made sandwich of tomatoes and bread. "Mmfinch."

Olivia spun her around and kissed her, catching her mid-bite.

Casey nipped her lip instead. "Hands off my sandwich, detective, or I'll cuff you to the table and make you watch me eat it."

She sighed. "Fine, sicky. I'll make my own sandwich."

"I ate all the bread." Casey spoke through a mouthful again, then reached out and dropped a hard kiss to Olivia's cheek, a smile of her face, feeling better than she had in weeks.

She sighed again. "Fine, I'll just go pick something up."

"I could go for some Indian."

"Right, yeah, of course you could," she said as she made her way out the door.

"Olivia?"

"What? Want me to take the sink with me?"

"I was just going to say I love you."

Olivia walked back over. "I'm sorry. Just that you two have been so sick. It's the first time I'll have been out in a week."

Casey wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck, her bump pressing into Olivia's taut stomach. She dropped a kiss to her cheek before pulling away. "Thank you. Go out and do whatever you want. Except going to work."

"Or drinking, right?"

"You can if you want to."

"Well, maybe one, but...I'd rather be here. Can you call in for Indian?"

"I don't know. You got pretty jealous last time I did. What if it's the same guy who finds pregnant women who smell a little sweaty really sexy?" Casey smiled, her hands sliding under Olivia's shirt.

Olivia smiled, rubbing her hands up and down her back. "You want me to stay?"

"You can go out. Just hurry back and you might catch me in the shower, that's all I'm saying."

She smiled. "Okay." She left. She went to the bar and had a beer, after going to store to get bread and cold meat for sandwiches.

Casey cleaned the house up a little, changed the bed sheets and checked on Sophie before stepping into the shower.

Olivia walked into the house, putting the food away and heard the shower running, grinning, she slipped into the bathroom after checking to make sure Sophie was still asleep. "Hi."

Casey, thinking Olivia would be longer, was washing her hair and had red hair hanging over her eyes. "...Hi."

"Gorgeous as ever, I see."

Casey smiled. "I'd say the same about you, but all I can see is your feet."

Olivia slipped from her clothes and stepped in behind her. "Maybe you can't see...but you can feel."

Casey reached out a hand, coming first into contact with Olivia's stomach, then her arm, making her pout. "Can't find my favorite place. And I was going to use it to show you how grateful I am you looked after me."

"You...could turn around."

"Turning my back to you when I'm naked is never a good idea, Olivia Benson."

"Then what place are you looking for?"

Casey reached up and pushed the hair from her eyes, ignoring Olivia's question. "Have you noticed how much mini-Olivia has grown in the last couple of weeks?"

"Mhm. She's getting big."

"Did you get anything for dinner?" As Casey talked about mundane things, Olivia felt her fingers tickling on her thigh.

"Mhm, ch-chicken..."

"That will be delicious." He thumb brushed past the bud.

She gasped, moaning, "I hope so..."

"...Thank you for looking after us, baby." Casey's head lowered, taking a nipple into her mouth.

Her hands ran through Casey's wet tangles. "Mmmm, more."

Casey continued, her thumb still only teasing as he mouth changed between sucking and nipping.

Olivia moaned. "C-Casey."

"I love you. Whatever I do…you'll always believe that, won't you?" Casey's thumb increased its pressure.

"..Y-yes...I wish you could get to your knees..."

"I can…if you beg." She bit Olivia's nipple.

"Ah, please...please...please, Please!"

"When I see you at work talking to people, when people flirt with you…I always feel jealous…and then I remember the way by one gentle touch of my lips I can make you go weak at the knees. I love having that power over you. Having power over someone so powerful." Her kisses trailed down Olivia's stomach as she dropped to her knees, then she continued to drop kisses to her thigh.

Her knees went weaker. "And I love that you can do that to me. You're so warm."

Her tongue brushed the bud. "What's your favorite thing I do?"

"Fa-favorite? Wh-when?"

"Ever. Tell me. And I'll do it. Right now."

"St-stop asking. Just...suck on it, I-I'll...I want you. Please!"

Casey chuckled, leaning it and sucking on the bud as the water cascaded down her back. One hand caressed Olivia's calf, the other wrapped around her thigh and slid into her.

"Ohh, don't...stop. Soooo good," she moaned.

Casey hummed against her, entering another finger.

Her body bucked against her as Olivia spread her legs wider for a better stance, resting her hands on Casey's shoulders.

Casey's eyes lifted to look up at her, then she tried what she'd read in a magazine in one of her many days in bed, entering another finger then pressing them forward, curling them around.

Olivia's body began to tremble, loving the feel of Casey fingers inside. "Up farther. Keep doing that. T-trying to find that sp-spot huh?"

Casey grunted, trying again, her face and lips resting on Olivia's thigh.

"Almost...Fu-faster!"

Casey tried again, using all her stretch, giving out a strangled moan herself.

Her breath quickened. "More," she strained, "let m-me hear you."

Her spare hand was now between her own legs and she moaned once more, her fingers going as far into both herself and Olivia as was possible.

She bit her lip. "Ca-Casey...oh...I-I ca-can't...Casey!" Somehow she pulled her to her feet, her hand replacing the one between Casey's legs. "More?"

Casey pushed her legs together, forcing Olivia's hand away. "I'm always quicker than you. I don't want to finish first." Her fingers continued to move, finally brushing the spot.

She gasped, leaning into her, burying her head in her neck. "Please, more. Please!" she cried. "Until I can't take it."

Casey continued, holding Olivia up, whispering things in her ear.

Soon everything blurred, all her muscles tensed. "CASEY!" she cried into neck, sweet release running from her.

Casey smiled, bringing her hand to her mouth and making sure Olivia saw as she sucked her fingers.

Olivia's hand went back between Casey's legs.

Casey's arms wrapped around Olivia's neck. "Dare you to try and do that to me."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, now what do you think will happen?

Review Thanks to: Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14, deadlockQ & DeathOfAMockingbird

Please R & R!

**Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles**


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